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Knowing the qualities that one should look for in a spouce, how do you make a good choice if a prospectve partner lacks in some areas of their spiritual life but you still feel they are the one. What do you do so that you can make a clear and safe decision? Am afraid to ask god because He will say no. How can I cultivate the strength to do the right thing?

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Good question. If we ask God and get an answer that we do not like we have a tendency to ignor what He says. I'm an old man and can only rely on what happened to me many years ago, but maybe it can help.

I found a young lady at a summer camp whom I could tell had several of the characteristics of what I wanted in a partner. I knew little of who she was though because we had just met that summer.

So I asked God to give me a sign so that I could know if she was really the right one or not. The sign came right away, which actually surprised me that He answered so quickly. His answer was basically a "Yes" and so I asked her to marry me that same week.

I have never been sorry I listened to Him. (maybe cause I still like her, Ya think?) Is she perfect spiritually, no. None of us are. Are there things that bother me about her spiritual attitude? Yes, but she is the one who helps guide me in the straight and narrow.

I have place a PowerPoint on my website dealing with how to know God's will in our lives. It's really short, but to the point. Basically it says, if you believe that God knows what is best, if you believe that God cares about you, even loves you, if you believe that He will answer your request for guidance, then ask Him to close all doors except one. Here is the webpage version:
Thanks Danny, I really appreciate your cpntribution. Yes it helps alot. Be blessed
I am only 17, so i dont really know about the looking for a spouse,but i still thought that i should make a contribution. This subject above may be viewed in several different perspectives. I firmly believe that it is definitely senseless as a christian to venture forth into a serious relationship, one as serious as marriage with someone who is lacking in their spiritual life. how does that person encourage you to keep your spiritual life going? we need to accept people for who they are but that does not mean that we are to degrade ourselves by having a relationship with someone who does not take their spiritual life seriously. frankly to me thats being unequally yoght. if they are in the drain they will take you right there with them and is that what you want? In conclusion i would like to say that we must be careful in searching for a spouse, ensure that you have someone who encourages you to continue persevering towards perfection.
Hi Benter,

I think you may have answered your own question when you said: "Am afraid to ask god because He will say no."

If you are concerned in any way that God may say no then you need to be extra careful when choosing a mate.

First; You need to study the Bible to find out what the guidelines are that you need to understand when choosing a mate. Second; Make a list of the qualities a Christian should look for in a mate. The list should include the spiritual qualities as well as the personal qualities. Third; Now here is the tough one. You must use the God given gift of logic, which you were given when God gave you a brain, to help you make the right choice, not emotion alone. Satan can appeal to your emotions very easily but not to your logic. Our emotions are all too often affected, or even controled by our enviroment, but only God and the Holy Spirit can read and influence our logical mind.

Here is an old saying that everyone who is single should remember. "Never accept a date with someone who wouldn't make a good mate." Consider carefully who you accept a date with.

May God put His loving arms around you, the Holy Angels protect you, and the Holy Spirit guide and comfort you as we travel salvation's highway to our heavenly home.

Respectfully, your brother in Christ,

P.S.: If you need some text to start with just let me know.
I think people are better off without a significant other if that person is not in line with God's will for one's life or the two are not equally yoked. Proverbs 17:1 says "Better is a dry morsel with quietness, Than a house full of feasting[a]with strife." Proverbs 21:9 says "Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman."
During my discussion with people, A question was raised and the question is, "How can u be able to tell u and ur Girl friend will b compatible in bed before marrying her."

can someone contribute?
Looks, emotions, attraction, infatuation are not a reliable guide when choosing a spouse. We should let God be our only guide through the bible and the spirit of prophecy.
Never be afraid to rely on His wisdom. If we are afraid to ask God because he might said no it is because we are not satisfied with His answer and we are not willing to do His will. But God in His wisdom and love knows what we need and who will make us happy.

I' ve been in a relationship where I didn't ask God if He wanted me in that relationship because I knew He would say no. Till today I regret that I didn't listen to Him for by now I know why God said no without asking. He wanted to spare me the painful experience I had when I was in the relationship.

Surround yourselve with friends that fear and love God so that it might be easier to feel attracted and fall in love with one of them. Chances are that God will say yes when you ask if one of those friends is the one for you.
I think that a person's relationship and love for God is most important, but God did also give us eyes, emotions, and the chemicals that cause infatuation for a blessed reason.
Mindset. If you think you are, then you are. If you think you're not, then you're not. After all, it's your girlfriend/boyfriend you've chosen based on your own preference that is already 75% compatible right?

Let me see: if, in overall, he being my companion will bring me closer to God, he might be the one. The rest I have to consult with God through prayer and parents guidance. Nobody's perfect, that's why everyone's need partner. Just like people doing business; they need business partner so there will be complete expertise to ensure that business will work. But just as business got it's ups and downs, likewise is relationship. Understandable.

Just an opinion


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