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hello fellow adventist i saw this wonderful discusion question in last week tuesday lesson.it goes, how r we to understand forgiveness in a practical sense?For instance, a woman can forgive a husband who beats her, but does forgiveness mean leaving oneself vulnerable to more abuse? How can we forgive while at the same time be wise and prudent enough to protect ourselves and others from those who have violated our trust? i would like to know u all views. it should b an interesing discussion.

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How i see it, forgiving practically is forgiving and not reminding the person about it by doing things like mentioning it when a similar thing happens (and this is how we are as humans). So as in the case you mentioned it may be wise for the wife to inform the husband that she has forgiven him and will not hold it against him or remind him of it - as in reproach him - but she should warn him that she will not tolerate it in the future. So practical forgiveness, after forgiving him, she should treat him as if it never happened and if God is in his heart, he will not do the same again.
Sound advice
I don't support the idea of a man beating his wife or vice versa. we all need to check ourselves, be considerate, understanding, not provoke each other to anger. We constantly need to remind ourselves and not take each other for granted just because we are adventist, my wife should not just treat me anyhow or vice versa. There must be mutual respect, love. We are quick to use words like vulnerable, abuse. I believe in relationship where genuine love and respect for one another and the fear of God exist, forginess would just be a natural thing.
Forgiveness does not mean we should be STUPID. We need to be circumspect about the way we relate with ABUSE.
can you verify these stories?

1. This adventist lady had an abusive husband, he beat her almost every day. She constantly prayed to God about the situation. The more she prayed the licks came. One day when he had just beat her. She said in a humble and firm voice O Lord I cannot take this any more, do something. The next morning he was dead.

2. Another lady, found herself in the same abusive situation, but that husband used to pull her out of church each sabbath during divine service. One day God sent lightening and struck him down in the middle of the church Isle.

God Bless, Steve
If we take all the Bible says and EGW on God's forgiveness, God does not forgive unless there is also repentance, a turning away from that sin. It does no good to confess our sins, or in the case of spousal abuse, to ask the one abused for her forgiveness and then for him to turn around and do it again.True repentance maintains a sorrow for the sin itself, not just for the unhappy results of it. See Psalm 51 for an example of David's sorrow for his sin.

The abuser, if truly repentant, should leave no stone unturned so that the behavior does not become repetitive.The wife or girlfriend also should not seek to excuse the abuser for the sin, while keeping open the avenues of real forgiveness, which if it does happen, while good, scars will remain for life. The relationship can flourish under the auspices of real love as true forgiveness and repentance occur.

If the abuser has drug and or alcohol problems, or other things such as unresolved anger, or even other besetting sins that are not given to the Savior, then the cycle of abuse may continue. The wife should in no wise think she is to blame for the abuse, nothing she could ever do warrants such tactics
This is a very good question,one I think many of us may wrestle with. We know our own need of forgiveness, so perhaps sometimes we wonder if we should mirror to others the forgiveness that has been shown us.. And I think, yes, we can be.
I like the answer that read how we can forgive someone, and should not bring up again that person's sin to them when we do so, yet also express to them not to allow it to come up again.
I think God's forgivenss is like that to us, is it not? Putting aside our own way of handling it, when God forgives us, truly,does He not blot out our sins from His sight? Does He not treat us as though we had never sinned? In anger does He bring that sin back to us, or because His care for us is greater than His vindication, because the Sacrifice is greater than our sin,does He not forgive us and make us clean?
So when someone hurts us, do we have a right I guess to continually bring up to them the hurt they did to us? I don't know... I think we have to be careful though in seeing God's forgiveness as maybe sometimes different than the way people forgive, lest we err in seeing His love clearly. For example, a person many tell you they forgive you,and yet bring up to you again and again the sin you committed,even though they have said they have forgiven you.But God does not do that,correct?
But I think in all things, such as in more serious situations such as these, prayer is so much needed. Because in some situations, you do have to make things clear, go for safety,etc,and you need the voice and guidance of your Heavnly Father tpo know how you should do that. Anyways, I appreciate the answers,and thank you for letting me share. Please remmeber it is the enemy that tries to get us to focus on our faults to the point of where we want to stay away from God,or can't see past them to our Savior,but as EG white says, those are the times we should come to Him all the more. I say this mostly for those who are struggling with tehir own sense of forgiveness. But in situations such as what started this thread,I think that needs prayer,for our Father knows best and knows how to guide in situations such as these...
If you survive someone running you over in their car, and you forgive them,
should you put yourself in the street every time you see him coming?
Wisdom here, my friend. :)
A physically violent person cannot control himself, don't think you can take this on and control him. A violent person lacks communication skills, and needs counsel and the will to learn it.
Forgiveness is a practical everday issue. When the bible talks about forgiving 70 times 7 it must not be taken literally but one should be very wise. If we do not forgive others their debts our heavenly father will never forgive us our trespasses. When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, God forgive their sins but he had to remove them from the garden lest they continue to sin. We should be wise as christians when we live in an abusive relationship. I just had to deal with the issue of one of my friends being burnt to death by her ex-boyfriend although their relationship ended more than 4 years ago. But she forgave him and love him so much that they were still living together but in separate rooms in the house. That is the mistake, you need to move away from the situation.

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