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A brother is seeking our help, he is complaining that his wife is not satisfying his desires in bed any more, she is always tired, sick or some other invented problem. He is being tempted to commit adultery because his wife is not performing her roles, what should he do to curb his frustration?

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first of all if she is not well she will not be able to fulfill her wifely duties, which should be pleasurable for her , so she need to see a doctor or find a solution for her sickness if on the other hand she is inventing excuses not to be intimately involved with her husband then he and she need to find a counselor or sex therapist to find out what is going on,under no circumstances must he give into his temptation, to commit adultery, to curb his frustration he can get involved with sports or whatever other things that interest him so that his time could be occupy, prayers always work for me try that, also i have been celibate for 9yrs going on 10. God is able.
Well, I do suggest that they see a counselor not separate but together to help them resolve that problem. Going outside to satisfy his desires will only make the situation worse.
This couple needs "Damage Control"
As you noted that the hubby says, "She is always tired, sick or some other invented problem" then there's definitely a problem between the two.
First and foremost, both need to see the local church/ district family life director.
There's a cause for lack of interest from the lady, deep down the heart of the lady she knows the answer and I'm sorry to be rude, but there's no communication between the two.
On the other hand, for the brother to complain and even have desire to go and try sailing in other waters means he has been really starved, Paul said We shouldn't be starved. It burns like magma when you are not given what you want, let's be realistic folks the man needs a solution very fast or else he is gonna wander or even damage his marriage.
I would advise the brother to talk to his wife and express his desires to her in calm and peaceful way not harshly. if that doesn't work seek councilling either from their Pastor or they can seek help externally.

For her to tell her husband that she is always sick and tired is so wrong and dangerous but at the same time to go out of the marriage and to commit adultery is even worse. Something has gone wrong in the marriage or probably LOVE wasn't there in the beginning.

He is probably angry and frustrated but he must realize that this is the plan of the enemy and has christian we have to through fire and be tested. realizing that this is a test we can't fight with the flesh or our feelings. He needs to curb is appetite for sex now and start seeking God through prayer and fasting to bring about a change in is his marriage and sex life. Nothing is impossible with God.

Start having prayer sessions with his wife, start loving her again, rebuild the foundation. Everybody knows marriage is not a bed a rose but it can work if you make God the center of your lives and when you do things together. For both parties Love conquers all, it will make you stay hungry together, in sickness you stay together no matter what is going on you can make it with God. Commiting adultery is sinful and would mess up your realtionship with God and with your wife.

Ephesians 5:21-25
"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

I hope this was helpful
God Bless.
My brother, I just want to let you know that you are ultimately responsible for you relationship. It is your duty to make you relationship work. It is true however, that time and time again, that relationship will have its up and it’s down. But man’s extremity is God’s opportunity. I just want to share with you few keys to a good relationship.

> Communication
> Appreciation
> Respect
> Love
> Adoration

You see my brother; a woman does not operate like a man. He sees and he wants but for a woman it is different, you have to set the stage for thing to happen. You got to romance her, love her, help her with the work at home, let her know how please you are about the thing she does, liking cooking, washing, taking care for the children etc. I also think if you just help her with these things then she will not be so tired or sick and if she is sick then take her to the doctor
.
And in the area of your intimate life with your wife, just have a talk with her, find out what she would prefer, because you may think that you are doing everything to please her only to find out that there are other way to do the same thing.

Last, but by no means least. You and your wife need to pray together. Play together, in other words just be best of friends and talk thing over. Let her know who you feel and you can do over dinner or just by walking holding hands and talking with her.

I have been married for 14 years now and I am still on the honeymoon. My wife and I are having so much fun together because we have learn to do things together and to put God always in the center of our relationship.

Take this from a brother who cares.
My dear brother, the scripture admonishes us that prayer changes things. Is anything too hard for the Lord? You and I as fellow believers both know the answer is a resounding NO. Therefore, I admonish you to resist the devil and let him flee from you along with all thoughts of adulterous actions.

Tap into that powerful source of prayer. Take the situation to the foot of the cross and call on the mighty name of Jesus, who is more than able. As the songwriter says, "When you call on Jesus all things are possible." Brother, hold fast to that which is good and don't be tempted to loose your JOY.

Pray and ask the Lord to return to your wife the feelings of love and affection she once had. As a matter of fact, let Him multiply it, so the romance can only get sweeter as the days go by.
IT WOULD B NICE TO HEAR THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS STORY CAUSE THERE'S ALWAYS ANOTHER SIDE OR 2 / 3. NEVERTHELESS FROM WHAT I CANDEDUCE FROM WHAT YOU DISCLOSED THERE IS OBVIOUSLY SOMTING GOIN ON HERE. HER REFUSAL OF SEX INDICATES SOMTING IS NOT RIGHT IN THE RELATIONSHIP. AND IT MAY HAV NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BEDROOM.

IS SHE HAPPY WITH THIS BROTHER'S CONTRIBUTION WITH RESPECT TO HOUSE DUTIES? WHAT ABOUT COMMUNICATION? BOTH PEOPLE NEED TO SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT WHATEVER THE PROBLEM IS. SHE NEEDS TO BE WILLING TO OPEN UP ABOUT WHAT'S BOTHERING HER. SOMTHING DEFINITELY IS.

MY BROTHER NEEDS TO BE WILLING TO LISTEN NOT NECESSARILY TO RESPOND BUT TO DO SO IF SHE ASKS FOR IT. ALLOW HER TO TELL U EVERYTHING SHE WANTS TO, THEN DISCUSS WHAT POSSIBBLE SOLLUTIONS EXIST. WHATEVER THE AGREEMENTS ARE FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THEM. OF COURSE THIS WILL TAKE SOME CONCESSIONS ON THE PART OF BOTH PARTIES BUT IN THE END BOTH OF THEM WOULD BE HAPPY.

OF COURSE DONT LEAVE GOD OUT OF THE PICTURE. AND DONT GIVE IN TO THE URGE TO LOOK OUTSIDE. IT'S A HARD THING TO DO I KNO BUT THAT OWULD ONLY MAKE THINGS WORK.

GOD BE WITH YOU AS U WORK THIS VERY VERY VERY GRAVE SITUATION OUT.

LET US KNO WAT HAPPENS FROM HERE.
let me first say PLEASE PLEASE UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT CHEAT. IF YOU ARE READING THIS LETTER YOU NEED TO STOP WHAT YU R DOING AND PRAY REAL HARD THAT GOD WILL GIVE YU THE POWER TO OVERCOME THIS TEMPTATION.



I am sorry to know that your marriage is going through this very rough patch. I am hoping that you will seek other options rather than adultery. The fact that yu r crying out for help means that yu genuinely dont want to cheat on your wife and wants the situation to improve.

Sex is a very important part of marriage that if left neglected has the potential to cause great damage to the relationship shared with God, yur wife and even yourself. I understand your plight I have known persons in these situations and trust me cheating only made it worst. You need sex and when you dont get it over a period of time the temptation to get that satisfaction elsewhere is very very great because you have become vulnerable. Judging from what yu have said it seems as if this has been going on for a long time. Your wife has been ignoring your sexual advances and you feel like your glass is full (literally) and if a sista comes a long you dont know if the powers that be will stop you from ...................

Adultery is not an option. Going outside of your marriage will only add salto the cut. This will only complicate his problem not resolve it. Short term pleasure for long term pain. It i snot worth it. During this delicate and sensitive situation avoid spending too much time with other female friends. it will increase the pressure and put you in more temptation.

I noticed that four things has been indicated:

Your wife is not satisfying yuor sexual desires
She is always sick, tired or something else
You are tempted to commit adultery.
You want to curb your frustration

Bedroom problems usually starts or relates to problems outside of this little but important room. There are a number of reasons your wife is behaving this way.

1. She has lost interest in sex
2. She is suffering from undiagnosed depression or other physical sickness such as diabetes
3. She has unfullfilled needs
4. She could be suffering from sexual dissatisfaction/unfullfillment
5. There are other problems in the marriage (disssatisfied with the relationship eg. how yu treat her)
6. She could be cheating (hope to God she is not)

Women in general cannot and will not engage or enjoy lovemaking if everything else in the relationship is not right. Lovemaking for us is more emotional and mental than physical.
There seems to be a communication problem. It could be that she is hurting about something that she refuses to open up about. Women will not open up if they sense that they are threatened, disrespected or will be judge unfairly. Probably sex is not the problem but a symptom of it.

Both of you have to find a way to get to the root of the problem. In most cases when women withhold sex something else is going on. If you really love this woman and you want the marriage to work you have got to get to the bottom or the root of this problem. Take her to the doctor to rule out any physical illness. Tell her how much you want the marriage to work and that you both need to talk about this problem. Before anything else pray.

Find and agree on an appropriate place and time to talk, turn off cell phones tune out all distractions because what yu r about to do is very importtant. Take flowers for her, dress attractive and LISTEN.

Ask her how was her week
offer something to eat or drink
comment on her appearance (dont over do it she might think yu have alterior motives)
Tell her how you feel about the state of your marriage. DO NOT BLAME HER FOR ANYTHING THIS WILL MAKE HER DEFENSIVE AND SHUT DOWN ALL COMMUNICATION CHANNELS.

Let her know that yu r not happy when she is unhappy
You want to find out what is going on with her
Find out if you had said or done anything in the past that hurt her feelings that was known or unknown to you. (w
I knwo it must be so hard, the hurt, the fursutration..hold in there. Keep praying to Jesus, try to hold to HIm. I know it's so hard now, but giving in will just hurt you in the end.. Jesus loves you so, you can trust Him.. He can help you through this better than anything else...

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