Why are you assuming that all single SDA people are young? I was 48 when we married. It is the first marriage for each of us. God just took His time getting me to the place where I'd be ready for the man He had for me.
As a non-Adventist, and this is solely my opinion: From reading all the posts in response to the question I think that while I understand individual respondents to this post are trying to conserve their Christian nature there are single females and males alike out there who would welcome the idea of having a Christian spouse. Isn't that that idea of Salvation in the first place, to save those who are lost? I know of many Christian (Adventist and other denominations) in which singles have married individuals who were once outside the faith and presently lead happy Christian lives.
I think saying that Adventists should only look for or be with an individual partner inside the religion is biased. As a single woman, if I am approached by an individual by first instinct is not to ask them what religion they are, it should be to find out what their intentions are. Is it the implication that non Seventh Day Adventists do not know how to love or fear God? Isn't it the responsible of the Church as well as the individual to go out and bring in the lost sheep? Is finding a partner or spouse outside the church and leading them to God a sin?
Acts 10: 11-15. While not directly related to this matter, as Seventh Day Adventist Christians you should know that God is no respecter of persons, none of his creation is common and we are all his children just waiting for our Shepard to come and bring us home. Some of us may have to wait a bit longer and are usually doubting especially when we sign up on forums like this one and get turned off because of the "air of arrogance" as a previous poster mentioned noted in some Seventh Day Adventists. We are all Gods children and he died for each and everyone of us.
We don't go out and bring in the sheep through marriage. It simply does not work that way. And yes ... it is biased and should be. It is not a matter of arrogance. It is a matter of not being unequally yoked. There are enough struggles in marriage without a spiritual one. In marriage the two need to be one in the area of spiritual matters or the marriage will struggle.
4Him I think you missed the point but that's alright. I am not implying that the individual bring in the sheep through marriage, neither am I implying that an individual gets married to a non adventist christian and hope that the marriage works.
There are a number of Adventists who courted non adventists, the partners have converted and are active members of the church and one guy that I know of personally went on to become a seventh day adventist preacher. It's just a matter of God's will as you people put it.
even though i understand where you are comming from God word will always stand true God is the one that said do not be unequal yoke and could two walk together unless they are agree, God is all wise He knows best and with everything that is happening in our world we do not need persons getting married and serving the lord in different ways also as christians even though we can look for spouses in likely places we still have to listen to hear God's voice telling us to go ahead or not and even though He is not a respecter of persons when persons are lost He will not be a respecter either God is the best choice in choosing a spouse for us let us do our part and trust God to do his have a bless day.
I courted a girl that seemed sincere, who was not SDA, but she said something like "I'll follow you wherever you go." So figured I better give it a chance, and did so, sort of off and on for about 2 years.
I couldn't convince her that the "healing" ministries where fake. It was just mass-hypnotism, and that's bad.
She didn't want to spend much time studying.
She loved philosophical rubbish, which are the vain sayings of uninspired men, and show no respect for the Bible's authority.
She was still eating hot-dogs.
She wasn't taking the Sabbath very seriously.
I decided she wasn't coming out of Babylon after all. Even though she said she was becoming an SDA and that she loved me and everything. So I broke it off. It hurt to do that, but I have to follow principle. I have to serve the Lord, number one. My marriage has to be conducive to the calling wherewith the Lord has called me.
Rush, that's an encouraging testimony. I'm sure God blessed you and you are happy. I'm doing the same thing and I have always advised my friends to stay and search from within.
One thing about women you get from out of the church and assume that they will change, in most cases it doesn't happen, they always have Babylon stuck in them, unless they really take time to pray in spirit and in truth to break those chains.
They'll always want not to leave jewelry, outward adorning to be seen, drinking of wine, and if not they follow their feelings and can't stand the test of a relationship.
I can't say that it's not possible to meet someone outside the church, and lead them to the truth. But you better make sure they really are searching, and that they love the truth more than they love you.
Best bet, over-all is search among those who are devoted to the truth, and whom you know want to serve the Lord, and then get your marriage set up to win souls to Christ, and to His present truth.
Literature Evangelism program is also a good place to meet people. You'll find a lot of devotion there.
I think it's funny what is being said by some people, like 'attend a different church', 'go to GYC', 'go to church functions & programs' etc. to find a mate. It isn't that simple. I go to a big church and there aren't many single males, especially those that would be a proper match. I wasn't raised in a church and I am a single mother. Being a single mom is an abomination to the guys in the SDA church. They act that way, anyway. & if they don't act like it's a problem, it seems like they think it would be easier to get that girl in bed. I'm not saying all are like that but some definitely do give off that vibe.
I've been at my church since 2004 and only one guy has shown interest in me and he was creepy, stalkerish, and made me feel very uncomfortable with the way he would look at me. I was not interested in him. Not only that, he tried going out with a few of my friends also. He'd move from one to the next & if you didn't show interest in him he'd act like you don't exist once he realized you don't like him.
I've been to many different church functions, like camp meeting, I just went to the most recent GYC on that sabbath day & have visited different churches, not specifically for a man, but for visiting closer places to my house and of course there are no guys in my range that are single. I do at least check out the scene while I'm there to see if anyone is there. It seems like it would be easier for me to find a husband at the Comic-Con than any church event.
Sis. Anitra God promised and His promises do come to pass. When looking for a partner, It takes fervent prayer and fasting and trust me, If you take the Lord at His word, and Identify yourself with Christ, He is more than willing to do incredible things for you.
All I am saying and do stand by my word, put no limit to what you want, but cast all your desires to God, and let Him select the right mate. If a guy asks you out, and you pray and fast about it, He'll show you that he is the right person or not.
I find no problem with single mothers in the SDA church, we are all sinful and not worthy to be in God's presence, who are we to judge? We are supposed to see the people around us as God sees them atleast that's what I believe.
The Lord gives us the desires of our heart, If your desire is to get married, why not present it to the Almighty other than taking matters in your own hands!
Hi Anitra, I haven't been online on this site very often consistently. But I did see this discussion just now and I had to reply. Please make it a serious matter of prayer and fasting to find the husband that God wants for you. Trust me. I know how terrible your life can be or become when you go against what God wants for you. I disobeyed God 37 years ago when He told me not to marry my current husband. Yes, I am still married but it has been very unhappy for me and still is. It saddens me and breaks my heart when I think of what my life could have been in service to the Lord had I obeyed God and prayed for His choice of a husband for me. Now, my children are not in the church, and it is very difficult for me even to sustain after all the unhappy years and the last 5-6 years suffering such depression. I know God forgives us our mistakes and sins, but sometimes we will have to live with the consequences for a lifetime. Think of that! Have you ever thought of using the Adventist dating/match finder service? I heard of others who did and found a husband or wife that way. Of course, if you used such a thing, I would still advise you make it a serious matter of prayer. Life is hard, marriage is hard, but it can be even more difficult when you are unequally yoked and with the wrong person. I will pray for you on this matter. Bless you! Love in Christ. Sister Cindy