Marriage is honourable and one of the vows taken is for better or for worst, which may be queit challenging. God does not agree with divorces and and so does the Adventist church. My advice to anyone going through this situation is to pray and fast. Prayer changes things. It is good if both parties can go to councelling and try and work things out especially if there is children involved. It is all easy to say that I am not taking any lash from anyone but sometimes we go through tests in order to have a testimony to tell others. The abused party need to speak to some form of authority and keep God in it.
I hear you loud and clear Spicy, but there is room for temporary separation, until professional solutions are implemented without having to resort to divorce. I have known of cases where husbands would become extremely physically abusive. Christian or not, no abused person should be allowed to experience continued abuse. Many wives have been embarrassingly humiliated just because they failed, or were afraid to leave the abusive environment.
If they are children involved it is all the more reason for separation.
I quite agree with you that God hates divorce. Personaly I do too. But some form of seperation will do a whole lot of good. Probably you have never seen a spouse who is being abused either physically or emotionally, if you have then you might appreciate my opinion better. Prayer, fasting, counselling are all good and there is nothing impossible with God.But if it continues, i would advice the abused spouse to leave. Crucibles - trials of life are meant to strengthen our faith in God rather than destroy. The testimony could be that the abused spouse left and survived on his/her own without necessarily remarrying.
I think we ought to focus much more on how much we know the person we intend to spend our lifes with. There are things that cant be completely hidden, and one of such i believe, is an abusive nature.
Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured.
well honestly honey ou need to pray and ask God if he is right for you and if you should stay!!!!!!! but ultimately you have to surrender and let God take control of the marriage. honestly tho if it were me i would have to hit him back but hey as most said i am not married as yet altho i would love to be
If you want my straightforward answer, leave the abusive environment until professional solutions are implemented.
Situations like these are always complex and difficult. This constant abuse of which you speak at some point wasn't always constant. Over time the abuse developed, and in some cases was allowed to get out of hand by the spouse on the receiving end. This is where the church needs to have more family and marriage seminars so as to educate church members to the reality of a possible break down in communication between spouses, and what usually is expected to ensue when communication between spouses break down. .
Some Christians are of the misinformed notion that because people are members of religious organizations, that family life will, or should thrive. Ideally, that should be the case, but in reality its not.
I've zero tolerance to abusive marriages. Ladies are supposed to be loved and not be abused either emotionally or physically.
My advice would be to re-examine yourself if you think it's entirely his problem then let him know that you are not gonna be a victim of abuse, so seek help from the Elders or Family Life director coupled with prayer. Nothing fails with prayer and during this period of time separate from him, because you need to be focussed in your fasting and prayer.
I would leave him alone for a while cos i'm sure i would love my husband. If he changes all well and good because we can get back together. But if we get back and he continues the abuse, you can be sure I'd leave him for good. Even the Bible says though we should be a gentle as a dove, we should be wise as a serpent. I wouldn't stay for someone to abuse and probably finally destroy me. And i would not advice anyone to do so either. Anyway, I think it is a very personal decision and i have just said what i would do as a person.
It's because love for one another is an all time low. People marry for different reasons and the highest percentage it's not for love as God intended it, no wonder divorce and abuse are common phenomena