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Adventist Weddings-The First Dance and Secular Love Songs During Wedding Is Permissible?

Adventist weddings aren't what they use to be, some, not all. I want to get your perspective on this "new trend" taking place at weddings now. Marriage is a sacred ceremony, ordained by God at the beginning of the Creation week. The Great God of Heaven performed the first wedding of Adam and Eve.

Today, we believe by faith that God is present at weddings He has sanctioned, afterall, He said, those i've joined together, let no man put asunder!

The trend today is having love songs sung during the wedding itself. What are you thoughts on this? Also, there is the "first dance". Seeing God performed the first wedding, do you think He would sign off on how weddings are done today? What's permissible and what isn't?

I'd love to get your thoughts on this!

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They're married. It's not like love songs and dancing is going to lead the couple into sin.
How should we know? As you said, we weren't there. But I don't see how that would violate God's law.
While it is true that a marriage has its spiritual dimension, we should never lose sight of its physical, emotional and social dimensions. These all, working together, bring about the chemistry that makes for a fulfilling union, that will withstand the challenges that every marriage will face, from its very first day.

Traditionally, the eastern wedding and its festivities, lasted a full week. During this time, there was a lot of celebrating which involved feasting, dancing and romancing.

Lots of these practices have survived in today's nuptials, and are altogether acceptable, as long as they are not taken to their extremes of sensationalism and bacchanal.
A couple could go to the JP, sans the frills.
Justice of the Peace, just bring a witness, nothing else required.
First, in 1993. I sang a solo at an Adventist wedding in Glendale AZ, at the Glendale SDA church. The song was a George Strait love song. A very nice melodic love song, which I suggested to the groom that he sing to her. However, after I performed the song for the bride to be, as she was unfamiliar, they asked me to sing it and he sang the old Burl Ives song, The Twelfth of Never. After the rehearsal, the lady minister had tears in her eyes after my song. All went well at the actual wedding.

Would I do the same thing again? No. I would (if asked to sing) choose something without CW or rock/pop connections and influences. I used to be a big George Strait fan years ago. He also represents Bud Light beer, as well as the pop/country music scene.

I can't speak for God, but He may be pleased to keep the worldliness out as much as possible. Since the wedding is very Biblical, we know the Lord approves of the wedding. Love songs aimed at the undying true love between man and wife with "until death do us part" I think are appropriate. I'm not so sure The Lord would disapprove of the slow dance of the bride and groom only, but mixing that up with other people who dance separately with the couple? No, I don't think so.

I think that Biblical principles and common sense should apply to the wedding celebration. Alcohol? No. We know that Jesus made grape juice at the wedding feast.

However Travis, certain love songs and dancing may lead others at the wedding into sin. We are all influenced by the things we take into our senses, by sight, hearing, smell touch. Many variables apply. We cannot say we all eat the heads off bats, and commit suicide at the hearing of an Ozzie Osborne "song," but the devil works. he's has 6000 years to learn how to manipulate the human mind. Most of the world, including Adventists, are ignorant of his snares.
My opinion is no drums.Love songs go back thousands of years. Just take the Song of Solomon and put some melody and chords to it. However the language may sound strange. Any song that has drums can be rearranged however one wants.

I think its important to not project a worldly influence, and perhaps not split hairs,. The Bible and EGW has principles that state music should lead to or praise God, One could find a song that praises God and speaks of married love. I think its just a matter of searching.

A Wedding in Mrs. White's Home.--About 11 a.m. Tuesday our large dining room was prepared for the wedding ceremony. Brother B officiated in the service, and it passed off nicely. The request was made . . . that Sister White should offer prayer after the marriage ceremony. The Lord gave me special freedom. My heart was softened and subdued by the Spirit of God. On this occasion there were no light jests or foolish sayings: everything was solemn and sacred in connection with this marriage. Everything was of an elevating character and deeply impressive. The Lord sanctified this marriage, and these two now unite their interests to work in the mission field, to seek and to save them that are lost. God will bless them in their work if they walk humbly with Him, leaning wholly upon His promises. {AH 101.3}
Jesus Found Pleasure in Scenes of Innocent Happiness.-- Jesus reproved self-indulgence in all its forms, yet He was social in His nature. He accepted the hospitality of all classes, visiting the homes of the rich and the poor, the learned and the ignorant, and seeking to elevate their thoughts from questions of commonplace life to those things that are spiritual and eternal. He gave no license to dissipation, and no shadow of worldly levity marred His conduct; yet He found pleasure in scenes of innocent happiness and by His presence sanctioned the social gathering. A Jewish marriage was an impressive occasion, and its joy was not displeasing to the Son of man. . . . To the mind of Jesus the gladness of the wedding festivities pointed forward to the rejoicing of that day when He shall bring home His bride to the Father's house, and the redeemed with the Redeemer shall sit down to the marriage supper of the Lamb. {AH 503.2}
Yes. I think that both the Bible and the SOP sign off on drums and love songs. No doubt. As I am sure you must know. Weddings are both a secular event and a sacred event. It is sanctioned by the State and by the God head. So I see no problem with love songs at a wedding.
God ordained 'love' between husband and wife. I see no problem with it.
Hello to all who have posted to, or read, or will read this thread.

At the risk of sounding selfserving, I do have a bit of an advantage over most when it comes to weddings. I speak as a husband, a father of four, a grandfather nine and a greatgrandfather of three. I also speak as someone who has been directly involved in almost a thousand weddings of all types, sizes, ethnic backgrounds, and faiths/beliefs.

John has made an excellent point by pointing out that the first wedding took place in the Garden of Eden during creation week with God as the Officiant. With that in mind I would like to point out something else about marriage/the wedding that is all too often overlooked, or forgotten, when weddings are discussed and planed.

God gave mankind two great gifts at the time of creation. Marriage and the Sabbath. If you stop and think about it marriage is used as a comparison, a symbol, of our relationship to and with Christ, and His love for us as His children, more than anyother . As you can see God Himself gave weddings and marriage a very special place in the lives of Adam and Eve and for every man and woman since creation just as He gave us the Sabbath.

Now let's consider John's next point; [i]"The trend today is having love songs sung during the wedding itself."[/i]

The very first thing that be considered is where the ceramony will take place. If it is to be in a church, a place dedicated to the worship of God our Father and Creator, the music should be appropiate for that location. The music should reflect our reverance for both for God and marriage itself. Please understand that a piece of music needn't be in the hymnal to be considered reverent but rather, shall we say, the feeling it imparts to those present, including the bride and groom. If on the other hand the ceramony is to take place outdoors or at a secular lcation there is a much wider range of what may be considered to be approiate music. In both cases Christian principals should be the guideline.

Now the reception as stated by John; "Also, there is the "first dance."I must say this presents a point of great contention. The first question that must be ask is should there be secular dancing at the reception? It is most unlikely that "dancing" will be limited to the bride and groom. It is therefore unlikely that the music will be a great deal different from what one would expect to find at any secular dance. It is unfortunate but popular secular dancing is becoming more more common at SDA receptions. Does popularity make it OK? I must say no it does not. Christian principals should be considered, and applied, when planing the entire wedding from start to finish.

There is one additional point that is all too often overlooked when planing a wedding. It is not the size of the guest list, the location, nor the amount of money that may be spent, that makes a wedding memorible to all who attend including the bride and groom. It is the personal touches that only the bride and groom can add that will cause the wedding to stand out from all other weddings that the families and guest have ever attended.

Your brother in Christ,


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