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I am fighting myself in question whether i can marry an unbeliever.What does the bible say?

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Dear Pricilla - please read carefull chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians.

There should be more but this one can help. Its clear to me - who you marry should be a christian. But some SDA I know think the person should be SDA christian - of 'like mind'- not just any christian.I am not sure if it has to be like this. best ask an SDA Pastor about this. I will do this for my own knowledge too. But yes, christian for sure :)

I suggest the person be of the same faith to reduces chances of conflict over doctrines of a given faith for example the case of sabbath keeping because the bible clearly tells of all resting on the sabbath.



Hello Irene,thanks for the comment.In this case the person is a christian who wants to marry aa SDA lady so am still in Dillema.

Sorry friend. this is a hard one. I have yet to ask a Pastor. It would be easier if same faith but good to hear he is a Christian. with myself - I would be worried that when I keep the Sabbath and if i was with non sda - it can be hard - as he may be watching tv etc... so for myself - I would only be with SDA. I would not want temptation right there in 'my face' in my own home like that. Pray about this - and if want to - consult a Pastor - for advice.


As another referenced, here is a very good statement in the Bible on the subject.

     "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?  [15] What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?  [16] What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said,
    "I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them,
        and I will be their God,
        and they shall be my people."  2 Cor. 6:14-16 (ESV) 

This is not just in the "Christian/non-Christian" area, but in other areas too.  Marriage is far more then just hugs, kisses and romance.  Unless a marriage is based on far more then that, it is not a real marriage.  While the romance will wear thin (although it must not be allowed to die) that is when the bonding and mutual likes and dislikes in other areas of one's life take over. 


Depending on how important Jesus is to you, you will want to find someone who has an equal respect for their spiritual life and places at least as much value on a relationship with Christ as you do.  Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for much heartache and misery.  The ideal formula for a marriage is: "One man, one woman, one God for One life."  Only as the first three elements of this formula are in smooth working relationship can the marriage be for life and be happy.


This 'unequal' also refers to other aspects of one's life.  E.g. types of recreation one enjoys, type of food, types and level of education, etc.  National origin is also critical, even though the idea is put down by many.  I have known many interracial marriages.  While they seem, from the outside, to be OK, none of them came across to me as really being close.  At least not as close as I have observed same nationality marriages to be. 


E.g.  I have some friends who are from India.  They are very near and dear to me, but they like their food HOT! ! ! ! ! ! !  while I am a simple country boy from the midwest and our conept of "HOT" was that the food was right off of the stove.  Becasue of our friendship, they cook two meals when I come to eat.  One for me and one that is spiced up for themselves.  This is just one example.  Oh, they willingly do this becasue of our friendship.  But it is an extra strain and in a marriage, as many of such strains as possible need to be resolved before marriage.



 Marnatha :)




There are other areas too.  Some like to read, while others would rather watch TV or engage in some sport.  Some feel that one can do anything they feel like on the Sabbath, while others feel like one should sit and read the Bible all day.  These differences can place a real strain on a marriage.  As many as possible of these issues should be resolved before marriage, esepcially in the area of religion.


I remember one time when my wife and I took a bunch of pathfinders to Monument Valley, Utah for a weekend visit.  Oh, what a trip! ! ! !   But, the point that I want to note was this.  OF the five people, who ranged from about 16 to 23, we had one girl who wanted to read her bible all the time and another girl who would try anything once and if it did not kill her, she would try it again.  How she survived her teen years, I'll never know.  (She was even worse in this area then I was. LOL)  While these were both girls, if one had been a boy and they married, just think of the confusion that it would bring.


So, the answer to your question is this.  If you want a happy marriage, find a Seventh-day Adventist who is on the same level spiritually as you are, while also considering these other areas too.  Note these quotes:

     A Home Where Shadows Are Never Lifted.--The heart yearns for human love, but this love is not strong enough, or pure enough, or precious enough to supply the place of the love of Jesus. Only in her Saviour can the wife find wisdom, strength, and grace to meet the cares, responsibilities, and sorrows of life. She should make Him her strength and her guide. Let woman give herself to Christ before giving herself to any earthly friend, and enter into no relation which shall conflict with this. Those who would find true happiness must have the blessing of Heaven upon all that they possess and all that they do. It is disobedience to God that fills so many hearts and homes with misery. My sister, unless you would have a home where the shadows are never lifted, do not unite yourself with one who is an enemy of God.  {AH 67.3}  Also see  {AH 66.3,4: 67.1, 2 

Maranatha :)

Very well said my brother and am certain my question is probably answered.However just for concern am already in a relationship with him for 2 yrs now and am stuck coz if i broke up with him on the same wont i have drwan him away from God?What will be his perspective of SDA?rather is this what God wants?am confused here.(he is just a christian).Your continued reply will be highly appreciated.God bless.

I also wanted to tell you that we do not marry because of sympathy, the marriage will determine your life here and the world to come, you choose to enjoy here but miss that heavenly kingdom. Remember marriage is permanent union n only death should do you apart, but relationship can be broken in the right and acceptable way.


Do not fall for this lie of the Devil.  The lie that: "You have gone this far, you might as well go all the way."  NO!, the very reason you are asking is becasue the Holy Spirit is warning you that you are on dangerous ground.  Retreat before it is too late.


There is no  reason to believe that God can approve of your continuing in a relationship that God has forbidden.  If your friend has not seen something in your life in 2 plus years that has drawn him to Jesus, it is HIGHLY unlikley that he will anytime soon.  Meanwhile, you are being drawn deeper and deeper under the control of Satan.


Oh, he may be a fine man, by the standards of the world.  But, how does he measure up in the scale of heaven?  Does he have the sign given in Ezekiel 20:12-20, of his being made good/sanctified by God?  If that sign is missing, then he is just making himself good. 


Yes, breaking up is hard to do, but so is a home where "the clouds are never lifted" too.  Likewise, it will be hard to be lost in the end.  So, unless he is willing to turn his life over to God, honor Him and obey His commandments, how can you expect him to honor you?  It will never happen.


Your breaking up with him may in fact be the push that is needed to cause him to reevaluate his relationship with God and you in more serious ways and cause him to give his life to God so you can give your life to him.  OF course, you must break up in a Christian manner for this to happen.  Just tell him that your commitment to serving God is your highest priority and then live that in your life.


Maranatha :)


In the last days there will be two classes of people the people of God and the people of the devil. The persecutors and the people who will be persecuted. Now let us supposed that you go ahead and marry an unbeliever, even though God says not to, what guarantee do you have that he will be converted..none.. you will be taking a chance here based on no surety at all. and let me remind you that conversion is the work of the holy spirit not yours, and is God who draws men to him you cannot do that.

Now in the last days when the sunday law passes and you living with an unbeliever who has not been converted what do you think will happen? is either you will join him on the enemy side because you love him so much you disobeyed God in the first place and marry him, or you will have to seperate yourself from him because he will no doubt be on the enemy side and the man whom you love and married will become your persecutor because if he is not for God he will be against him.

So, my dear sister do not marry an unbeliever for no reason that may seem justified to you or anyone else. Obey all God's commands and let the spirit lead out in your life.

Life  is  about  choices.   You  can marry a  believer  or  unbeliever,  it  is  your  choice.  As  christians  we are  admoninshed   in the  bible to  not  be  unequally  yoked. As   SDA  , Some of us   have  different intrepretation on  that. For  me  it  is telling  me  tha  I   SHOULD  MARRY  AN  SDA.

I  HAVE HAD  PROPOSAL  BY non-SDA  FOR marriage my  SISTER. I  didnt  accept their  request  even though  they  are  christians. For  their  belief  is  different  than  OURS.


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