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I am fighting myself in question whether i can marry an unbeliever.What does the bible say?

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There is a man at my church who's first marriage failed because his first wife led him away from God and he decided God was who he wanted most.  He married her because she pleased him aesthetically.  He went through very hard times over that because of his unwise decision.  Thankfully he has met and married another wife for whom God is important.  In giving his testimony he said that when he and his second wife married they made a deal that they would put God first and each other second.

I have two other male friends at church who were not adventists when they met there wifes.  Both studied and became adventists before they married and both still are after many years.

Good examples there...God uses us in many ways and we never know coz anyway not every other marriage in church works as well we forget to point that.But i want to challenge everybody according to the bible that thou know est if your husband or wife will save you.We should emulate or rather to live a christ like life that pleases God.I f christ was here what would he have done or said about the same?

Sister Priscillah, you are facing this dilemma because love is blind. You love your fiance so much that you do not want to accept any suggestion that would make you leave him. You  are finding groups to justify your intention to stay with him and marry him. I like Ray Philip's comments. His are the pearls amongst ours. I would like to echo what others have said so far: Settle your faith issue with your fiance before marriage. Marriage, as the bible says, means two people becoming as one.

I had a class mate who was a devoted pentecostal believer, and he always had negative thoughts towards SDA believers. He met a girl who was SDA, and the girl through the working of the holy spirit led her to the truth. He is now a baptised SDA member, and they just got married couple of months ago. I believe that was the best way, and is still the best way to settle differing opinions between lovers before they decide to marry and become as one.

If he does not accept SDA doctrines, what guarantee is there that he would accept it when both of you are married? Or put it in other words, if you can not minister to him and lead him to know and accept the beliefs that you have while still being friends, what guarantee is there that you would be that instrument to lead him when you are married to him?

I totally agree with you here. I used to be married to non believer! he was a very good and nice man but it made it very hard for me - when I returned to being a practicing SDA!

The bible clearly states - do not be unequally yoked!

life can be very difficult to be with christian of different faith  - let alone non believer!

may  i say something about this topic and add a little more please? The time t obe marrying someone of another religious faith is it actually safe? If w ehave been told now for centuries the dangers of doing this in scriptures and bee ngiving examples also like King  Soloman  and Samson and sooo many others that married unbelievers or  even those of another faith is it not basically the same?

 FOR instance  u are a woman  and your a S.D ,A  your husband is a baptist  or even pentecoastal  he comes home from work friday night and turns on the football game or hockey or other dramatics  , how can their be reverence in the household during this time from sunset Fri, to sundown Saturday  Sabbath hmm? Does not the time we in now with   homosexuality and gay marriages being legalized make us think were safe today to discard Gods words of warnings and tha the is not already about to start the  final  judgement?

  May I ALSO say that even  i nthe Adventist faith it is unsafe to marry  just anyone that says they are   Pure 7TH DAY Adventists ?  For instance lets say u are a vegan and abhor the thought of eating meats that full of poisionous chemicals let alone the slaughter of animals that are  tortured ruthlessly before their death  and the one u marry  eats mostly meats is this not going to cause conflicts between the two of u also/ ?

 Here me out please  for what I am saying is          true and not made up can 2 walk together unles they be agreed?  wha t if u like to talk and your partner  is quiet and likes to hide their feelings or emotions  and  is not willing to  consider that their faults  have to be corrected/ ?  How can problems that come up  in scriptural references even be brought to light  if u cant discuss things freely without fear of reprisals ?

How can your sins or faults be seen clearly if 1 is not willing t obe corrected and tha tby showing ones faults is not fault finding (persay ) its God s way of letting us now he loves us but these faults  we have to overcome and let go of if we expect to be in his  kingdom for God cant force his will upon any of us  ? . We have our part in overcoming our wrong habits for Jesus cant place his life of rightousnes in place of ours if we wont le t go of self right or wrong??  

  yo u think about that and contemplate  what it means  then fully for u and I in marrying a unbeliever or even in the Cahurch today someone that doe s not hold the same veiws in Spirit O f  P rophecy a s God  magnifys  his word s he  has already spoken  ok>??



May I suggest that you ask yourself some hard question.  Be honest with yourself for you will be the only one, other then God, who knows how you answer them.  Then do what God would have you to do.

  1. Which life is the best?  The one that follows the Bible principles as taught by the SDA church?  The one that follows some other standard?
  2. Do you want the best mate for your life, or are you desperate to get married and are willing to settle for second best or even worse?
  3. Whose will is the most important in your life?  Your will or God's will?
  4. Whose desires are the most important to fill?  Yours, your fiancee's or Gods?
  5. Do you want a good marriage or do you just want to be married?
  6. Why do you want to be married for at all?  Is it just for companionship or status, or to have someone to fight with or ??? 
  7. Do you really want a home where the shadows are never lifted?  Oh, I realize you cannot see it now, but it is the smart person who will learn from other people's experience. 
  8. Do you want to make someone else happy, or just yourself?    Can you make someone else happy if you enter into a relationship that God cannot bless?  How can you set a good example for them if you give in to them now?  What will make them think that you will not continue to give into them in the future?
  9. Do you really want to be a child of God, or just a pesudo Christian?    When one claims to be a christian and does not want to follow the principles of a christian, they are taking God's name in vain.
  10. Do you want to be stumbling block in the pathway of others, including your friend?  You will if you choose to love him more now, then you love God.  The choice you make will set an example for all who see your life.  Make sure it is the right one.

It is your choice.  However, remember, that as a free moral agent, you are also free to get what you choose.  If you choose second best, that is what you will get.  However, most find that when they choose second best, they will get the worst.  Is your present happiness and eternal life worth settling for second best?

Also, do not choose even one who claims to be an SDA, if his life does not match what he professes to be.

May you choose God's way.  It is far superior to any other way.  I know, I have tried both.


Maranatha :)



I know I have spoken about my marriage on here before so I won't bore everyone with all the details.  I am married to a non-adventist who is very accepting and has let me raise our daughter as adventist.  But it is not what I should have done and it is hard and lonely sometimes.  You can marry an unbeliever but it is not biblical and it is not easy even in a good marriage like mine.  I married during a low point in my walk with God and made choices which were not right.  And it has an effect on all of my children from both my marriage to an adventist and my current marriage.  Two are grown, one is still young but they have lived with my heart torn from the pain of knowing that unless he changes, I will be in heaven alone.  Plus my two older children have chosen to leave the church.  I know it was their choice but also that I was not the example I should have been even if I never left the church.  And I wonder if you will make the wrong choice and even if your marriage is happy, if you will have to face the prospect of being in heaven alone.

Hi Priscillah,

of course you can marry an unbeliever if you wish to,

but i would like you to consider the following questions:

1. will this relationship prove a source of true happiness?

2. will it be a help to you in the christian life?

3. will it be pleasing to God?

4. will your example be a safe one for others to follow?

 Religion is needed in the home. Only when Christ reigns, can there be deep, true, unselfish love. 

Please read chapter 150 of Messages to young People for more explanation. God bless!

Messages to Young People : Page 439
94. Engagement With Unbelievers

Dear Sister: I have learned of your contemplated marriage with one who is not united with you in religious faith, and I fear that you have not carefully weighed this important matter. Before taking a step which is to exert an influence upon all your future life, I urge you to give the subject careful and prayerful deliberation. Will this new relationship prove a source of true happiness? Will it be a help to you in the Christian life? Will it be pleasing to God? Will your example be a safe one for others to follow?

Tests of Love

Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy. What has been his past record? Is his life pure? Is the love which he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness? Has he the traits of character that will make her happy? Can she find true peace and joy in his affection? Will she be allowed to preserve her individuality, or must her judgment and conscience be surrendered to the control of her husband? As a disciple of Christ, she is not her own; she has been bought with a price. Can she honor the Saviour's claims as supreme? Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy? These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage relation.


Religion is needed in the home. Only this can prevent the grievous wrongs which so often embitter married life. Only where Christ reigns, can there be deep, true, unselfish love. Then soul will be knit with soul, and the two lives will blend in harmony. Angels of God will be guests in the home, and their holy vigils will hallow the marriage chamber. Debasing sensuality will be banished. Upward to God will the thoughts be directed; to Him will the heart's devotion ascend.

Results of Disobedience

The heart yearns for human love, but this love is not strong enough, or pure enough, or precious enough, to supply the place of the love of Jesus. Only in her Saviour can the wife find wisdom, strength, and grace to meet the cares, responsibilities, and sorrows of life. She should make Him her strength and her guide. Let woman give herself to Christ before giving herself to any earthly friend, and enter into no relation which shall conflict with this. Those who find true happiness must have the blessing of Heaven upon all that they possess and all that they do. It is disobedience to God that fills so many hearts and homes with misery. My sister, unless you would have a home where the shadows are never lifted, do not unite yourself with one who is an enemy of God.

As one who expects to meet these words in the judgment, I entreat you to ponder the step you contemplate taking. Ask yourself, "Will not an unbelieving husband lead my thoughts away from Jesus? He is a lover of pleasure more than a lover of


God; will he not lead me to enjoy the things that he enjoys?" The path to eternal life is steep and rugged. Take no additional weights to retard your progress. . . .

I would warn you of your danger before it shall be too late. You listen to smooth, pleasant words, and are led to believe that all will be well; but you do not read the motives that prompt these fair speeches. You cannot see the depths of wickedness hidden in the heart. You cannot look behind the scenes, and discern the snares that Satan is laying for your soul. He would lead you to pursue such a course that he can obtain easy access, to aim his shafts of temptation against you. Do not give him the least advantage. While God moves upon the minds of his servants, Satan works through the children of disobedience. There is no concord between Christ and Belial. The two cannot harmonize. To connect with an unbeliever is to place yourself on Satan's ground. You grieve the Spirit of God and forfeit His protection. Can you afford to have such terrible odds against you in fighting the battle for everlasting life?

A Broken Engagement

You may say, "But I have given my promise, and shall I now retract it?" I answer, If you have made a promise contrary to the Scriptures, by all means retract it without delay, and in humility before God repent of the infatuation that led you to make so rash a pledge. Far better take back such a promise, in the fear of God, than keep it, and thereby dishonor your Maker.


Remember, you have a heaven to gain, an open path to perdition to shun. God means what He says. When He prohibited our first parents from eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge, their disobedience opened the floodgates of woe to the whole world. If we walk contrary to God, He will walk contrary to us. Our only safe course is to render obedience to all His requirements, at whatever cost. All are founded in infinite love and wisdom. -- "Testimonies for the Church," Vol. 5, pp. 361-365 .


Mature Judgment Essential

The good of society, as well as the highest interest of the students, demands that they shall not attempt to select a life partner while their own character is yet undeveloped, their judgment immature, and while they are at the same time deprived of parental care and guidance. . . .

Those who are seeking to shield the youth from temptation and to prepare them for a life of usefulness are engaged in a good work. We are glad to see in any institution of learning a recognition of the importance of proper restraint and discipline for the young. May the efforts of all such instructors be crowned with success.-- "Fundamentals of Christian Education," pp. 62, 63 .

Didn't Hosea marry a prostitute?  Would't she be considered an unbeliever...

lol that's different.God told him to do it to illustrate something 

So he would never ask ME to do it?  Or YOU? ;-)


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