Adventist Online


Views: 290

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

There are other options that would help both parties remain "Biblical" ... and one it separation.

This should always be an option rather than divorce particularly when it is an unBiblical divorce.
Gabe! I understand your point. (too much religion) Its true even God wants us to have fun, because in Eccle 3:1 its written that there is time for every thing: With this point I agree with you, but I strong disagree when you say that you are more likely to cheat on a boring partner. Thats not the solution my friend. You can do better than that!
Adventist Match is COOL. That's where I found my dear one.
Just pray about it Gabe! God will send you the perfect life partner in his own time,
If the unfaithful partner asks for forgiveness, they deserve to be forgiven as simple as that... Although trust has been breached, natural affection and love injured but the Lord who knows peoples hearts (Is. 49:16) is more than able to do exceedingly more than we can ask, think or imagine.
He who formed the human heart is able to heal it (Ps. 147:3) and impart streams of undying love to the couple.

We have to look at the gospel from a different and new perspective according to what Christ taught us.

Matthew 18:15 KJV
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
Above is a point, now when we bring it to a cheating spouse they should first apply that rule.

Matthew 18:16 NKJV
But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established
If the guilty part fails to agree with rule no. 1, then rule no. 2 is invoked as shown in verse 16 above.

Matthew 18:17 NKJV
And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector
Now that's the last nail in the coffin, if guilty party refuses to comply with rule no. 3 then let him/her be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. The point is, how did Jesus treat the heathen or tax collectors? One concret example is Zacheus, he even dinned with him in the present era heathen or tax collectors are unbelievers.
Now if a non-believer visits your church, what do you do? You start showering praises unto them, give them flowers, hugs and kisses and as a matter of fact you inform them that the place they are sitted should be theirs till Christ returns!

In the same way we treat non-believers when they visit us in our sanctuaries, we are obliged to treat those who wrong us in the same like manner. If someone cheats and asks for forgiveness, take them back, if they refuse love them unconditionally who knows when the years roll by, they will understand and get back to the right path.
Some of you who advocate for divorce chances are that you have NEVER been in love and you just got no clue... If one is love, hmmmm don't get me started...
Love covers over a multitude of sins! I Peter 4:8
If you have ever loved, I mean love the real thing even if you partner cheats you love them more and more, you don't want them to leave you despite the breach of trust!
I have ever been there and I know what it means oh men! Love covers over a multitude of sins, there's no way if a couple have been in love atleast one party that they will file for divorce!

This thing called LOVE! For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son... When Israel committed spiritual adultery by worshiping baal and idols when they repented, the Lord took them back! Talk of the lessons in the book of Hosea when the Lord told him to take an adulterous wife...

The Lord Hates Divorce... If we can't forgive the Father won't forgive!

How can you divorce if you have ever loved? True Love!

If the guilty party decide to file for divorce well they can go ahead but only after the innocent party applying the rules stipulated in Matthew 18:15-17.

I can't imagine divorcing someone I truly loved because they did a mistake, the one who has never done it probably has to be the first in pointing fingers that violation of marriage vows and no room for forgiveness and working things out.
It is possible for forgiveness to take place. Just because there is forgiveness does not mean there will be reconciliation.

I am 45, single, never married. I was interested in a girl, and was good friends with her online. We finally met after nearly two years of friendship. I was hoping and praying that we would build a relationship with marriage being the goal. Didn't happen. For some reason communication broke down, her attitude changed. A guy at church kept calling her "hon" or "babe" so I asked her if they were dating. She turned her back and walked away. Later, I was part of a group that went on a road trip, and she kept talking in her native language. Out of a nine hour trip, she spent less than 20 minutes talking in English. She eventually married the guy I asked her about.

She has spoken to me a couple of times, but I have nothing to say to her. I tried three times to find out what was going on, to find forgiveness for any mistake I may have made, only to be treated with silence. I removed her from my friends list on YM and from Friendster when I learned she was engaged. When I learned she was married, less than a year after I met her, it hurt. I carried a grudge, and struggled to forgive her for what she did to me. She basically divorced herself from me. No communication, no idea that I had permission to move on. I have nothing to say to her. If she says anything to me, I answer in one word sentences. I steer clear of her. I just don't care about her like I used to. I forgive her, but I have been hurt enough times in the past, not just this girl but by other SDA girls, that I have no room in my heart for reconciliation. If she asks me to do something, sure, I will do it. No problem. But beyond that.... whatever.

God truly loved the people of Sodom and Gomorrah. God loved the people of Nineveh. God loved the people in Jerusalem. How many people has God loved who refused Him and divorced themselves from Him? Could the fire and brimstone that fell on Sodom have been tears born of the anger of rejection that many of us have experienced (just not on God's level)? God is the jilted Lover of our souls. He has experienced rejection on a scale no boyfriend or girlfriend can know. God has been divorced from His loved ones over and over again. As a parent, God knows what it is like to deal with rebellious children who reject His love consistently, and His children have often rejected the light of His forgiveness and reconciliation. But we are human. We say we want healing, and yet we pick at the scars. In this sinful world reconciliation may never take place, but in heaven.... all wounds will be healed.

Where the girl is concerned, I have no feelings for her. It is not my place to be happy for her, for she didn't give me that right or privilege or honor. Whatever is all she gave me. It is all I have left for her.


Moving on... and I think a lot of people who end up divorced feel the same way. They forgive, but for a long time to come they will wonder if that person will ever hurt them again. The forgiveness is there, but not the trust. The love is there, but so are the scars.
God only allowed divorce in the times of Moses, becuase of hardness of their hearts. But if we truly love Christ and seek to walk like him, there is always reconciliation as that is the same way God deals with us when we stray or make a mistake, he wants us to be reconciled back to him.

And i strongly agree how can u want to divorce someone u say u truly love, exchanged vows with in the presence of your family and close friends, promise to love this person till death do u part. And i'm not even talking about abuse or nothing to that extent; i'm refering to simple mistake, misunderstanding, difference of opinions, or the person's honest views of how they feel of something that is terribly affecting their relationship with their spouse. I will also echo that God hates divorce. and we are suppose to have the mind of Christ, So????

Well said!

Maranatha :)

Visit my web site at:
As Christians ... we are obligated to forgive and move on IN our marriage NOT without.

God hates divorce . Yet ... knowing we are such sinners ... he allowed or give in to allow for divorce under some circumstances. I think He knew we would abuse and expand the definition so that is why He was hestitant to allow us to go against His will. But out of His love and our own stubborness ... he allowed it.

But He still HATES it. So, why would a Christian want to do what Jesus HATES ?

He wants us to depend upon Him . We need to work at restoration and it takes time. We need to both pray for our partner and for ourselves that we will forgive and be able to work it out. Bottom line. TRUST IN GOD TO Work it Out. Do close the door with divorce. Separation ... yes. Divorce ... no

Marriage is for better or for worse. It isn't just as long as one is faithful or not. That would be included in the 'worse'. Marriage is a one time shot. Stick with it folks.
Well ... it's easy enough for the student to find. I will not hand feed them.

But I could turn it around to you John. Please show me the opposite. Show me where it says that Jesus LIKES divorce.
God believes MORE in forgiveness. And He commands that. Reconcilliation takes time. Prayer takes time. But we should not remove ourselves from that with divorce. We can separate our selves if needed. But the focus remains on forgiveness and reconcilliation. Divorce stops all of that. Why limit God and do that which He hates.


Site Sponsors


Adventist Single?
Meet other Single
Adventists here:
Join Free

USA members:

Support AO by
using this link:


© 2020   Created by Clark P.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service