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          In our present world today our government has allowed our marriage couple to file for a divorce if the couple can not adjust themselves. As per survey most couples are separated even in our own church. It is very clear in the 10 commandments that Thou shall not commit adultery. why is it we are allowed to file a divorce. please clarify to us . Thanks.

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Jesus said in Matthew 19: "...because of the hardness of your hearts...

Yes, the Bible says no divorce except for adultery, and only then if you cannot forgive. 

The law of the land provides for those who want to divorce for reasons other than adultery. 

People can choose for themselves whether they wish to remain married or divorce. 

It is not up to either the Adventist Church or the law of the land to force anyone to remain married if they do not wish to. 

Our role is to support and encourage both married couples and those who have divorced. 


even when its a sin to divorce outside of the reason  JESUS gave?

how can that be?

"Our role is to support and encourage both married couples and those who have divorced."

 You are right they should be dis fellowshiped . They should not be allowed to rejoin the church until they show sings the have repented . They should not be  allowed to positions of church leadership.  There are some sins that are more obvious . They carry stigmas . God does not love them less and should repent of their sin . God has a work for them to do. . If they messed up and remarried this is even worse.  Yet even this can be forgiven. Mark 3  "   28 Truly I tell you, people can be forgiven all their sins and every slander they utter, 29 but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; they are guilty of an eternal sin.” 

However there are some consequences. They may never church leadership  . Why ? because the world looks at the outward .  Romans 14 : 19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean,but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble.21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.

This speak about food but it holds true for any thing. What if a divorced goes to live an awesome Christian life . (As they should . They should always seek to use their talent to spread the gospel. ) If they hold a position in the church it will give someone an excuse . They will say see the elder or that pastor divorced and remarried now they are living a good life . It would encourage such behavior.  It does not exclude them from ministry . They can start small group meetings ,  hold meetings in their homes like in Acts 2 . The church must uphold a standard  . Degrees and bible knowledge should be how elders and pastors are chosen . They must be examples . I rarely meet anyone with the same practical bible knowledge I have.

I fully acknowledge that I blew my chance to be a pastor or elder. Yet I never stop teaching and preaching to young people I work with.    

I hope ever couple can work though bad marriages, it takes a lot a faith.  but people can do it if they allow God to work in their lives.. Yet I prefer to focus on the choice of a help mate.  We often prefer focus on treatment instead of preventing. 

"even when its a sin to divorce outside of the reason  JESUS gave?

how can that be?"

Because people are weak and sinful so they over look common things , even if it is divorce. Why? They need to survive  . Humans are social when they move outside the norm it is harder to survive , emotional , physically and socially .  Those living outside the norm must be willing sacrifice some acceptance. Group mentality is natural . You can not aspect them to sacrifice their   physiological , safety and social needs so that you can feel accepted . Most people are not born again or even self-actualized which is the step before being born again.   I pray people will call sin ,sin even if the sin has become part of the social norm .

I am the first to call myself out even if it leads to being unacceptable. I only need God's acceptance.  

What do you mean by "if you cannot forgive "?

Are you suggesting that there are things we cannot forgive? 

Are you saying that one cannot divorce someone and still forgive him/her? 

Is divorce and forgiveness mutually exclusive? 

             Is divorce and forgiveness is mutually exclusive,

my friend there is a big difference between. Divorce is the result

of habit of each individual living together that they dont like. Example you

are geniune adventist, no vices at all, but your partner is drunkard.

So that is his habit. You dont like. The result is divorce. But forgiveness

is the effect after you made a positive solution that solve your problem of not

to divorce. Forgive Him and and thats love.

We encourage and support married couples, including those who are struggling in their marriages, by showing the benefit to each and all members of the family when there is love at home.

However, should the marriage breakdown and the couple divorce we continue to encourage and support husband, wife, and children as best we can throughout our various church ministries. 

What is the alternative?


to shun and throw scriptures at them of course :/


I at least am pleased that the Adventist Church takes a more Christ-like approach to people.


only for the heterosexual sins dearie

I believe there are other biblical grounds for divorce. God also said do not murder--thus justifying divorce. He also said if you are angry with someone, that is the same as murder. Clearly grounds for physical abuse can be made.

Slavery / theft, also would be justified.

Adultery is not always illegal so that was specifically mention in scripture as not something God would have us do. 

However many women are choosing to stay single and work or go to college so then men will do the same. There are many reasons for divorce today.

I like what one evangelist said in the context of divorce, "divorce does not destroy marriage, remarriage destroys marriage" .. referring to people who go and marry another person instead of working, by Gods grace, to solve their first marriage problem.

 Simply put, if they truly repent of their sin, they would remarry each other. The bible does not allow for divorce, mutual or otherwise. Essentially there making their future spouse an idol by disobeying Gods express commandment. Relationship idolatry.  

The question is who do they love more, God or man? In this light, this is a no brainier for the church. The church should not participate in this sin.For them, they can "remarry" outside of the church if they're intent on their idolatry. Its a tough message but only because of their own choices.

No one could fault you pastor, although they may try, for following the bible.


 I think what Jay is saying it is their choice to remarry. If they feel are free to remarry and love compelling them. They can  do it in a court in front of a judge or on a cruise anywhere they want just not in church.  There are members doing all kinds sins. From stealing , watching porn , pretending kill people on line , having on line affairs in countries in killing people . But the church can support any off this stuff. A church should not buy pirated soft ware , should not have an on line gaming night, watch a boxing march at church , play fantasy sports for money at church or any other ethical breach . So also too there can not be a remarriage in church for any couple that is outside the biblical grounds for divorce.  

The Church Manual CHAPTER 13 

Church’s Position on Divorce and Remarriage page 152

11. No pastor has the right to officiate at the remarriage of any person who, under the stipulation of the preceding paragraphs, has no scriptural right to remarry

I had read the church manual in class.

I have great experience with divorce.    I was not given a choice.  I was left with two small children because my spouse at the time felt the need to find herself in all the local drinking establishments,  because she was unstable I felt the need to protect the children she left, so divorce and custody were what I had to do.  The second time was because cheating and child abuse.  Yes, God is merciful. 

Moral of the story: Be careful how you judge others.  Sometimes people have very complex and painful problems that only God can help them with and our snap judgements don't help and the person you think is wrong is actually the victim.  Instead, pray for them. 


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