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Adultery the Only Reason for Divorce—A woman may be legally divorced from her husband by the laws of the land and yet not divorced in the sight of God and according to the higher law. There is only one sin, which is adultery, which can place the husband or wife in a position where they can be free from the marriage vow in the sight of God. Although the laws of the land may grant a divorce, yet they are husband and wife still in the Bible light, according to the laws of God. – {TSB 78.4}

I saw that Sister Jones, as yet, has no right to marry another man; but if she, or any other woman, should obtain a divorce legally on the ground that her husband was guilty of adultery, then she is free to be married to whom she chooses.—The Adventist Home, 344. – {TSB 79.1}

Among the Jews a man was permitted to put away his wife for the most trivial offenses, and the woman was then at liberty to marry again. This practice led to great wretchedness and sin. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus declared plainly that there could be no dissolution of the marriage tie except for unfaithfulness to the marriage vow. “Everyone,” He said, “that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery” (Matthew 5:32, R.V.). – {TSB 79.2}

When the Pharisees afterward questioned Him concerning the lawfulness of divorce, Jesus pointed His hearers back to the marriage institution as ordained at creation. “Because of the hardness of your hearts,” He said, Moses “suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so” (Matthew 19:8). He referred them to the blessed days of Eden, when God pronounced all things “very good.” Then marriage and the Sabbath had their origin, twin institutions for the glory of God in the benefit of humanity. Then, as the Creator joined the hands of the holy pair in wedlock, saying, A man shall “leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one” (Genesis 2:24), He enunciated the law of marriage for all the children of Adam to the close of time. That which the Eternal Father Himself had pronounced good was the law of highest blessing and development for man.—Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing, 63. – {TSB 79.3}

Change Disposition, Not the Marriage Status—I have received a letter from your husband. I would say that there is only one thing for which a husband may lawfully separate from his wife or a wife from her husband, and that is adultery. – {TSB 80.1}

If your dispositions are not congenial, would it not be for the glory of God for you to change these dispositions? – {TSB 80.2}

A husband and wife should cultivate respect and affection for each other. They should guard the spirit, the words, and the actions so that nothing will be said or done to irritate or annoy. Each is to have a care for the other, doing all in their power to strengthen their mutual affection. – {TSB 80.3}

I tell you both to seek the Lord. In love and kindness do your duty one to the other. The husband should cultivate industrious habits, doing his best to support his family. This will lead his wife to have respect for him.—The Adventist Home, 345. – {TSB 80.4}

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Okay. So those who do not have the Ruach haKodesh (holy spirit) are or will be totally depraved but those who have the Ruach are not totally depraved?
Excellent. We agree then.

The point I'm trying to get to is that a man or woman has no excuse for sinning in the sexual area regardless of the spouses actions.

The spouse may have to stand before God to answer for their selfishness but that is no excuse for the other to sin.
It seems that the point is not universally accepted.

It must be from the KJV, as incontinence typically implies an inability to control one's bowel movements.

Jason M:


The 10 commandments reveal 10 sacred things that God has given us: the Sabbath, parenthood, God's name, life, marriage, etc.  The one about adultery is about the gift of marriage, and family.  Adultery is breaking marriage, like breaking the Sabbath, or taking the Lord's name in vain.

To adulterate, is to ruin a thing, by mixing something in, where it doesn't belong.

Like if a man mixes his seed in another man's wife.  He ruins her, and has destroyed their marriage.  This is the classic definition of adultery.

But, Jesus said, in Matt. 19:5-9, that if you divorce your wife, you cause her to commit adultery with a man that was not her husband, according to the traditional definition of marriage, and he commits adultery, as well.  The definition of marriage, used by Jesus, is from Gen 2:

Gen.  2:24    Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

She left her parents to be joined unto him.  Now she's leaving him, to be joined unto another.  This is adultery.

Using this same definition, we see multiple forms of adultery:

A husband is joined to a wife, not to another husband, as in homosexuality.

They leave their parents, which children are not able to do, so you can't marry a child.

You can't marry an animal.

But, in all such attempts to mix things together improperly, there are reproductive organs involved.  That is because marriage happens, when such organs are combined, they way God intended.  A marriage doesn't occur when the Pastor makes his declaration, or when they sign a contract, or when witnesses acknowledge.  It happens when they share genetic information that creates a child.  Then they are one flesh.  The child, whether conceived, or might have been conceived, is the flesh and blood of the mom and the dad both, so they are both one.  They are like brother and sister:

Song of Solomon 4:10    How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse!

But, you say: "Not so.  You need formalities".  When did these formalities begin?  And what formalities do you see in the Bible?

Gen.  24:67    And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's [death].  

1 Cor.  6:15   shall I then take the members of Christ, and make [them] the members of an harlot? God forbid.  
 6:16    What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.  

Paul even says that when you go to a harlot, you are marrying that harlot, because that's what marriage is, essentially.

So, if a marriage begins with coupling, "to have and to hold", then surely denial of coupling will end a marriage.  This is the fraudulence that Paul spoke of, when you swear a vow that you will be one flesh, and then you break the vow.

Will Anderson:

"Define incontinence please"

Incontinence is when you have to urinate all the time, due to a problem with your bladder.  But, in this case, Paul is telling married people that they have another kind of incontinence. They have discharges, together, regularly. This is normal.  But, then, to suddenly shut it all down, without mutual consent, will cause the non-consenting party to sin.

Of course, such discharges can occur during sleep, involuntarily, but this could also be seen as a sin.  One could half wake up during this process, and decide not to put a stop to it.

Such abandonment is abusive.  It's fraudulent.  It's never justifiable to lead one into sin, whom you have sworn fidelity to.

But, this curse of incontinence was placed upon mankind, after sin, and has increased over the millennia of degeneration.  Originally, it was to ensure that Adam and Eve had children, in spite of how sorrowful, they where.  If not for this curse, they would have never conceived, and the Messiah would have never been born, and there would be no hope of salvation for them.

Gen.  3:16    Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire [shall be] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

That is the literal, definition of incontinence, strait from the  I did not make that up.  It's a condition people have, when they get old, when they can't hold their pee.  They call it "incontinence".  It's a medical term.

But, to derive Paul's meaning, you have to take in the context.  What version are you reading?  Paste it here.  I'll paste mine.  It's KJV:

1 Cor.  7:2    Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.  
 7:3    Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  
 7:4    The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.  
 7:5    Defraud ye not one the other, except [it be] with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.  
 7:6    But I speak this by permission, [and] not of commandment.  
 7:7    For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.  
 7:8    I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.  
 7:9    But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.  
 7:10    And unto the married I command, [yet] not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from [her] husband:  

He's saying he wants everyone to be celibate, like he is.  But, obviously, that's not possible.  So, if you cannot contain, you have to marry.  So, it's not something you can overcome.  You can't just give yourself this gift.

Unless you get old, and everything dries up.  But, if your spouse hasn't yet dried up, then you should get some KY, and just force yourself to do it, until he / she does.  Then you can both be celibate together, as old people.

Is it the same kind of incontinence?  Is he saying we all have a bladder problem?  He's talking about the inability to contain something, which in this case, is not urine, but another type of fluid.

Sorry, but I can't be getting hung up on this.  I'm not even sure what you're getting at...

Perhaps we should search a KJV era dictionary.

Somehow I doubt it is talking about nocturnal emissions. Ejaculation is not and never was a sin.

Being unclean is not sinful.

2 Timothy 1-5, "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money,boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people."

The NIV does not confuse the reader about incontinence.

We're dealing with 3 different Greek words, here, and 2 different situations.  The incontinence in 1 Cor. 7 is solved by simply not abandoning your spouse, and this is counsel to God's people.  The incontinence in 2 Tim 1 is never solved, and he's talking about people who are lost, and whom you must shun.

1 Cor 7:5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

If you are married, you lack the self-control of a celibate person, like Paul.

1 Cor. 7:9  But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

People fancy themselves as having self-control, but if you're married, you do not have the kind of self-control that Paul is talking about, here.

Obeying the Word of God doesn't require any emotion.


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