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Chew on this - is it all right for an elder or any parent to encourage their daughter to date an unbeliever?

I know a situation where the daughter who is less than 20, lives at home with parents and dating an unbeliever. Father has tried to discourage but gets no support from mother. Father is an elder in the church and has stated how he has tried to discourage her by talking to her about it but she is not listening to him.

Are we at the stage where children control parents and do just what they please regardless of objections by their parents. What do you think he should do? Should he do anything? Besides he has another daughter approaching that age too.

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Well, frankly speaking, it's not right. However, can the father stop it? I think he is doing the right thing by talking. No parent wants to kick a child out. Maybe he could get the young man in church by talkin to his daughter. I don't think it's a matter of children controling parents. It parents trying to be tactful and wise. The daughter is over 18 years old.I f she is not living in the parents' house with this guy, there is not much they can do but talk.
The best thing to do is to invite the boyfriend to participate with the family and church events. Try to win him with love. Try to influence him. Show the contrast between his lifestyle and the family and church. You really can't stop the daughter. The father is doing the right thing by talking to her. He is presenting principles to his daughter and that is good. The more the parents might 'pull' the more the daughter would 'pull'. And guess who would win that tug-of-war .... THE DAUGHTER.

Sounds to me like the daughter is a legal adult. Being less than 20 means you can control your own life. The parents have little if any authority.
I agree the family can decide this as an opportunity to witness to the boy and show him Jesus or this is a chance to isolate their daugher and show the boy that Christians are disdainful of others.....He has expressed his view about it now he needs to back up and let go and let God.
Read the story of Ruth I get no impresssion that Naomi endlessly nagged her boys for marrying Moabite women, seem she loved Ruth into Judaism, we can learn from this .
Why take the risk, what if the guy influences her to forget her values and her Lord. Why take that chance, there is no guarantee she can win him over, and besides the spirit is the one that convicts of wrong
Its her chance to take, she is 20 not 16 or 15, she is an adult its her mistake to make, no one can make it for her they can only advice and live with the results.
While i understand your position, but i remember my parents saying to me that as long as i was under their roof i was to abide by their rules and my dad was church elder, or i was free to move out. It sounds harsh but they maintained that their home was going to be a christian and who ever wanted to do contrary was not going to stay there. So i issue is these days children seems to be the ones in control.

Legal age or not, my dad was the head of the household as long as i was in that house i had to abide by the rules laid out.
Too sad, this Elder married a wrong woman!
This is a true situation, they were married before he bacame an elder.. But this text rings in my head, if he is not able to rule his home how can he rule the church........ what do you think of that????
I know of NO man on earth that can 'control' either his wife or his daughter or his son. It is just not possible. Even God does not 'control' His children. No. He gives us free choice and still loves us when we make the wrong choices.

It is laughable to think that a man has any control over a woman. Now ... there might be some truth the other way around though.
Ladies are highly sophisticated creatures. Man can never control them, you just pray that she sticks to you in ups or down because most of the time, they figure out stuff in their minds before they act!

Let me give you an example, tell a lady that you don't want to see her speaking to such and such a man. She'll go and inform that man, my husband doesn't want me to speak to you, but she will devise means whereby they can stay in touch. Does Eden come to your understanding now?

A man to control a wife is impossible, that's why men are supposed to be on their knees, pray and fast for the Lord to reveal to them either in a dream or vision that she is the one who will stick by her husband's decisions, in better or worse to forsake others and be with him.
Now to me that looks like I need a prayer which is equivalent to moving a mountain.

Ps. 103:8-10 KJV
The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
Even if God handpicks the women no good, true, loving husband is looking to control a wife!!!!!
That is called abuse, and has nothing to do with Christianity.
The text is based on the culture where children, and women were the legal property of their men folks, thats right property and when you own property you can dictate exactly what they can or cannot do when they live in your home. Well fast forward to 2009, women are not considered property, children from 18 are adults and no matter where they live they parent has not legal dictate on them. Morally he is the head of his home, legally as long as there are all adults in the houeshold there is no head. Anyway IMO churches being ruled by elders are no more than mini dictatorships, our church is offically based on majority rule by not elder run tings rule.


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