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Is it wrong to spend a weekend with my girlfriend and her family?

I am dating a woman whose mother and niece lives with her, the house belongs to her and it has three bedrooms, plus a guest room. She works long hours and is heavily involved in church offices and activities. This greatly reduces the time we get to spend together, she has a guest room, bearing mind her mom lives with her would it be wrong to spend a weekend.

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IJ Charles


It is my belief that you are asking the wrong question. 


All other things being equal, which they are not, there is no moral issue in being a guest in a ladies home.  However, your scenario points out several issues that are far worse then either what staying there might do to your relationship or your reputaion or moral standing.  These are the real issues to consider.

  1. If she is this busy so that she does not have time for you while you are courting, what will happen when you get married?  She will even be more busy and you might as well not be married.
  2. What man would want to marry a woman where her mother is still living with her?  Then add on the other woman who is living there?  I would look elsewhere, myself.
  3. Even if you did stay there, what kind of a meaningful relationship could be formed in that fishbowl?  That setting is a reciepe for a sad ending.  For if you seek to get away by yourself, then other issues come up which can do nothing but compliment things.  You need to look for a woman who has cut her ambilical cord already.  (PS The same thing goes for the reverse of the gender scenario.)

See, the issue is not the amount of time you can spend together now.  The real issue is whether she is willing to sacrifice her other obligations for you.  If she is not willing to do that now, the liklihood that she will ever do so is not certain.  No, staying over in her home is the least of the problems in this situation.

Happy Sabbath!


Maranatha :)





Excellant Ray I love you  take on this subject. Thanks

Well  my  advise  is  this  ,to  simply  stay  away  from sleeping  at her  place or your  place  while  u  r not  married    .You  guys  might  have  GOOD  intentions , but  u  have to  remember  the  Devil .  The  bible  says  to  flee  from  fornication   and  to  shone the  appearances  of  all evil .I  am   not  saying  that u  gonna  do that .Wat  i am  saying  is  to  avoid  all  avenues  of  sin . 

I don't know the situation with you and your lady friend. I personally don't want to know (lol no offense intended) it's none of my business. Actually its none of anyone's business. From what I have seen this thread has gone too far. The details concerning your lady friend's mother living with her have not been given so we should not assume. I understand your wanting an answer but people will attach sexual motives to things because they have been given the opportunity to. I have avoided this thread and avoided it because the things I have read have truly bothered me. I ask you please IJ Charles stop explaining yourself to others. Go to think it over and discuss it with her and her mother and pray together with them. Ask God for guidance in your decisions and go with what He reveals. Don't let AO be your answer. Your question hasn't been answered yet.


As for the other members who have posted...I am not targeting you. I understand that we all have short comings. I do not take away from the advice that you all have given because you took the time to try and offer help. Yes temptation will come but it may not even be sexual. It could anything...really anything from violence to stealing everything in their house. (And I'm not calling you a thief)  If you manage your time wisely and keep God before your eyes you will not fall as David when he saw Bathsheba bathing. If you are worried about your name being in other's mouths you have options. You could stay in a could sleep in your car (lol) could even sleep in the same room as her mother with a lock on the door. Just my thoughts.


This  question has certainly drawn a lot of attention. 


How far do you live from your girlfriend?  Why do you have to stay over?  Why can't you spend a few hours then go home? Do you plan to stay over once, twice  - - -?

If you lived in another state ot town I wouldn't see anything wrong with you visiting and staying there over night. It would give you time to get to know the family better  and  to spend some quality time with the lady you intend to marry. In such a case, you could even help her with the church work if it's not of a sensitive nature.  


What if you break up? Will the next man or the next want to sleep over too? In this senerio, .....?


I say the key word here is: Time. So,may be you asked the wrong question. And because you asked this question,this tells me you already know the answer to it. Because right now no bible verse comes to my mind to confirm you can do this.

what you do is your business

if you do it and still be able to hold your head up high

that is all that matters


totally agree alex.
   We have  to  remember  that  even   though it is  your  business, i  am  not trying to pry.What  you  do  have  effects on  people's  lives  in  more  ways   especially  your  kids  and  grandkids.How   long   will  you  be  able to hold  ur head   up  high  when  u see  that  a  few  minutes  of pleasure   is  causing  so  much  pain  to ur  family.
I don't think so as long as you are not sleeping in the same room,and it is only for visits, as apposed to living together...


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