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Missionary dating is a phrase used in a Christian context to describe when a person of one religious persuasion dates a person with differing beliefs for the purpose of converting him or her.

Synonymous phrases include "dating for Jesus" or "flirt to convert". The concept of missionary dating is sometimes used to justify or rationalize to one's self, family, or religious community, romantic interest in a non-believer, if the relationship might be frowned on otherwise.

  • I have got a lot of my SDA brothers and sisters doing that, what do you think?
  • How would you advise a missionary dater?
  • If you have a brother/ sister in Christ and is doing that, has been advised and refused to take counsel what do you do? I will be grateful if any of the above questions are clarified from a diverse group.

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Some married folks brought their partners to Christ or Adventism if the person was already a Christian whilst dating, they let them know up front when they met there were Christians/Adventist, etc the person was still interested in dating them, the relationship grew and the non Christian or non Adventist partner's interest in Jesus or Adventism grew from there. It works for some and not for others, each case has to be taken on its merit.
IMO people who claim to date outside the church are just fooling themselves and rationalizing what they are doing. The purpose of dating is try try to know a person who might be a candidate for marriage. I believe that going outside the church for this is dangerous and points out that those who purposely do so do not fully understand the necessity of being "100% of one accord" in the marriage relationship. If you want companionship and fun for its sake alone then do it in a group. Our 54th anniversary comes up next month... Never did either of us consider dating/looking for a companion outside the church. If you are looking for people to witness to just ask the Lord to send them along............He will! 'nuff sed
Ok listen to my views on the subject. If we allow self to go out and witness we will be successful in getting the latest girls, having unmarrital sex, getting them pregnant and so on and so forth.

If we go out witnessing for God then the holy spirit will bid us not to put ourselves into compromising positions that will cause these things to happen.

I will say i won't debate if a missionary who witness to someone who was out there that if he starts dating it won't work but that is not the main purpose it is to tell to the person the love of God allow that person to have an experiencefor themselves and allow the holy spirit to work in his/her life.
I wrote a very long post in another thread that covers this issue. I will include a link to that here for any who wish a detailed study, and otherwise just give simple answers to the questions.

1) Although it is not a sin, to become involved in such a relationship, I think that in most cases I have seen it was an extremely unwise move. The person seeking to "convert" his/her spouse was no where near strong enough in the faith to do this, nor did they receive adequate support from a church which considers this to be a sin, even though there is strong biblical precedent for such relationships. These are allowed by God's law, they are not necessarily sinning or going against biblical advice or law.

2) My advice to these people would be to slow down and reconsider, even though I would give that advice with relative confidence that it would be ignored. I would not tell them not to take this step, but I would tell them the potential problems and to check their own level of faith and understanding of their beliefs to be absolutely certain they are strong enough in each to make such a move.

3) First I would have to question if they have refused to take counsel, or simply rejected my counsel as wrong or irrelevant or simply counsel they did not like, so will disregard whether there is any truth to it or not. If they seem to be acting honestly and still reject my advice as wrong or irrelevant I have more study to do on the matter. If they reject it as simply undesirable then I must allow them to go out and make their own mistakes, without my interference. There are two precedents for this. Best known is the story of the prodigal son. His father not only did not interfere -- he facilitated the rebellion of his son by giving him his share of the inheritance. Then there is Ezekiel 3 and 33. Both chapters present the same commission as a watchman over Israel. The watchman must give the warning, but he has no obligation to force the people to take heed to his warning; so long as he has given the warning the people are responsible for their own souls, for their own actions.

The in-depth study I shared in another thread can be found at this link:


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