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please pray for my marriage, it is about to collapse. I have been married for 4 years, and have a 3 y/o son. i didn't appreciate my wife and felt she didn't love me, nor that i loved her. But all the pain by the potential divorce has caused me to realize that i do love her and i want my family. ive come to realize that which is important in life is family and that only christ can save my marriage and keep us together. please pray for us. pray so that in the 3 weeks that we are waiting for the divorce papers to be ready, my wife will decide, like i have, to recommit to this marriage....  davids-marriage

Thanxs for everyones prayer...Ur stories, advice and prayer realy uplift me whenever i read them...... i am now only 2 weeks away from the divorce... ive been praying alot, and maybe its Gods will that this marriage come to an end??????.. maybe He has someone better for both my wife and i??? .... i'm having a hard time hearing God's voice in all this. Its like God is giving me the silent treatment........ My wife and I are no longer living under the same roof, and she has shown no sign of wanting to recomit to this marriage, on the contrary she has repeatedly told me she wants nothing to do with this marriage and she now has a boyfriend..............this is soooo painful.... please continue to pray for us... thanxs










oh fred.... my faith is already weekening... i pray for God to talk to me... to tell me anything... i feel so alone, like God has abandoned me... i pray and read His word, but no response.... i hope i dont lose my faith.... this is sooooo painful.... i realy related to ur post.... please pray for me.... please... i dont know what to do....

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i urge you to fast and pray in this matter. my own parents have recently divorced and it seems as if i know of too many friends / relatives who are heading down the same road. it is sad and it's ugly. I belive that if you both re-evaluate and submit yourselves to the power of God that he can amd will help you both to be the partners you are suposed to be. that he will help you both cultivate a godly spirit that will help you both to do whats right towards each other and your son. May God work this miracle in your life so that you may be a witness and blessing to other couples who feel their marriages are failing. I will keep you in my prayers.
David

There is a story about the great preacher, Dwight L. Moody, who was crossing a body of water, when the boat took on water from a wave, if I recall the story correctly. Everyone formed a bucket brigade to bail out the boat. Moody, of course, joined the bucket brigade line. An acquaintance of his, knowing that he was a mighty man of prayer, told Moody: "Brother, you are much more valuable in prayer. Why don't you go somewhere and pray for us?" Moody is reported to have responded: "Yes, God does hear my prayers. But if you don't mind, I'll pray while I am passing the buckets." God will not do for us what we can do for ourselves, but He also hears the prayer of faith, when we demonstrate by our actions that we are really sincere about what we are praying for.

David, pray, pray, pray, like you never have prayed before. However, don't stop "passing the buckets." Start courting your wife like you did when you met her. Swallow your pride and tell her you were wrong and you are sorry and ask her for the chance to make it up to her and mean every word of it. I have been there and I have lost a wife and children. I do not wish that on anyone. However, in my situation, things were totally out of my control and all of my prayers availed nothing. She was carring another man's child and she was too embarrased to come back. However, God did answer my prayer by giving me a much better wife and marriage. But, that does not seem to be the situation in your case. So, do all you can to win her back. This is as valuable, if not more so, then prayer. Pray while you are passing the buckets.

One more story.
When I met my second wife, we became engaged and Satan did not want us to get married. So, when we went on a social evening with a couple, unknowns to me, a lie had been spread, which had no basis in truth at all. Well, that lie was shared with my fiancee and she broke off with me. I was devistated, but I told God in prayer, that if that was a sign that God did not want us to marry, I was willing to accept it, even though it hurt terribly.

However, God was not caught off guard. God brought the only person in the world who knew the truth; some 900 to 1,000 miles on an emergency trip and he got there at just the right time to be able to talk with my ex-fiancee and tell her the truth. I had told God that since the story was not true and that nothing I could say or do would change things, He would have to do it all, I would not lift one finger to change things. I wanted to know for sure that it was God's leading, which it was and we married.

So, Christians need to live on that balance. Do what we can do, in your case, confess and make restitution, and cooperate with God in those areas that only He can do. Then pray, pray, pray, for you and God together, can move moutains .

Maranatha :)
Ray

Maranatha :)
Ray
Hi Ray

Nice.

Walt
Hi David

Ask, Why does God love you?

And when you hear the answer come back as "there is no reason", then know that such is the only basis for love -- "no reason". God loves because of who He is not because of who we are, and as His children, so should we too love.

That understanding helped me, especially when a few days or so after the realization, the wife asked me .... yes (there had been much trouble), "why do you love me"?

I was glad to be able to tell her that "love needs no reason". It just is. Love without conditions is true love.

I hope this helps. Pray as you move forward.

Take Care

Walt
hello brother, i will kneel down tonight after i shut my computer down for you and your family. don't worry, when everything you think is impossible, the solution is JESUS, he'll make it possible for you, as he wills it. God bless!
Thanxs for everyones prayer...Ur stories, advice and prayer realy uplift me whenever i read them...... i am now only 2 weeks away from the divorce... ive been praying alot, and maybe its Gods will that this marriage come to an end.. maybe He has someone better for both my wife and i .... i'm having a hard time hearing God's voice in all this. Its like God is giving me the silent treatment........ My wife and I are no longer living under the same roof, and she has shown no sign of wanting to recomit to this marriage, on the contrary she has repeatedly told me she wants nothing to do with this marriage............this is soooo painful.... please continue to pray for us... thanxs
Seems like you need a PRACTICAL, POSITIVE STRATEGY; something that you can work towards whilst you continue to pray fervently and fast before the Lord. Something that will allow you to take positive steps forward instead of just sitting around waiting for the dreaded moment when suddenly it's all over. Something that will allow you to be as pro-active and positive as possible and that God can use to work out His will in your life.

COUNSELLING!!!

Doesn't matter if you've done this before and it didn't work out. Doesn't matter if she refuses to go with you and you have to go by yourself. Although it's better if you go together, going alone will also let her see your true heart's desire to do ANYTHING to make the marriage work.

Speak with whomever you need to speak with to get marital counselling RIGHT NOW!

Who can you receive counselling from? A pastor? (Of another church if you don't want to embarrass your wife by speaking with your local pastor.) A christian therapist? A Godly-focused counsellor...

If you're not sure how to pay, why not offer your services or time or items that you have in the house in exchange for the counselling sessions. What do I mean by this? Well, I build websites and I've often swapped a website or a logo design for a month's free stay in accommodation, or for telephone therapy, or for any number of other things. Use your imagination!

Now, ask your wife, as a final favour to you, to attend 2 or 3 sessions with you.

Tell her you will understand completely if she decides she still wants to walk away at the end of it if she wants to but that it might help both of you to understand what happened, what went wrong, how to avoid the situation in the future... whatever.

When you talk with your counsellor/therapist/pastor together in your sessions, then you'll have an opportunity to say aloud all that you are feeling, your contrition, and your desire to recommit and carry on with the marriage.

With a third party there, she may be more prepared to listen.

But, more importantly, YOU need to listen to her and show her that you are HEARING what she has to say. I don't know any of the details of why your marriage broke down David, but know this; we women are sensitive creatures. It may not be a certain action or word that hurts us and makes us shut ourselves off to protect ourselves emotionally. It may be that we are so shattered by the simple INSULT of that action or word being done or said against us. When we are insulted or put down we retreat emotionally. This may be why you are hearing "No, no, no", rather than "Maybe".

I think what I'm saying here is that the words "I'm sorry. I know I hurt you.I didn't respect you. I didn't mean to to do that. And I will do everything in my power never to do so again." can go a very, very, very long way...

The Rules:

- No macho posturing.
- No 'I deserve to be respected 'cause I'm the man'.
- No shouting.
- No insulting.
- No threats.
- No 'but you always used to...' comments.
- No 'but it's not my fault...' comments.

When you feel the desire to do any of those things, ask yourself quietly in your heart...

"DO I WANT TO BE 'RIGHT'? OR DO I WANT TO BE HAPPY?"

In the meantime David, no matter how lonely and confused you may feel, do NOT allow Satan to take advantage of you and lead you down a wrong path by taking comfort in the arms of another person. Keep away from other women who seem to be offering 'inappropriate' invitations, or who hug you for just 1 or 2 seconds too long, or who kiss you just a little too close to your mouth, or who make comforting comments that just might have a double meaning...

Getting involved with another woman would be a complete disaster for you at this time. For all concerned. No matter how nice/kind/pretty/concerned/sincere she may be.

Focus only on your wife.

God bless you and keep you. I will pray for you too. My sincere desire is that you and your wife and your little one become one family again.

Hugs,


Andrea
Hi David

As I read your post-it is hard to keep back the tears, I went through something very similar just a few years ago. I was married for 20 years and my wife wanted out and there was no convincing her to stay. I prayed and prayed, nothing happened, The divorce became final, I almost lost my faith.

Bit God can turn your sorrow into Joy- take this time to grow as a christian. Read and study, find in Jesus a Friend. You will be amazed at what He can do.

For me He turned my sorrow into joy-literally, He gave me a new wife whom Ilove very dearly her name is Joy!
Take heart d be strong n ur heart.
Paul reveals that there's always a reason for adversity. As insignificant as these words may seem, hang in there, believe in God's promises, and I'll be praying for you. God WILL reveal to you why this is happening to you in due time.
Sometimes we go through things that we just can't understand. We find no meaning or purpose behind it, and it may even cause us to doubt. I went through something like this today, but I asked God to speak to me and surely enough he did. I recommend you read Hebrews 11 and 12 carefully. I'd also like to share an Ellen G. White quote that I came across today that really encouraged me and helped to give me an understanding of what was really going on:

"Into the experience of all there come times of keen disappointment and utter discouragement....days when sorrow is the portion, and it is hard to believe that God is still the kind benefactor of His earthborn children; days when troubles harass the soul, till death seems preferable to life. It is then that many lose their hold and are brought into the slavery of doubt, the bondage of unbelief. Could we at such times discern with spiritual insight the meaning of God's providences we should see angels seeking to save us from ourselves, striving to plant our feet upon a foundation more firm that the everlasting hills, and new faith, new life, would spring into being." -Ellen G. WHite, Prophets and Kings, p. 162.

As bleak and hopeless as life may seem to get at times, we can't give up. We must endure to the end as Jesus, Paul, and Peter did. We must hold to the promise that God will finish the work he started in us, and that none should ever snatch us out of his hand. Don't give up David. There's a reason why this is happening to you. Be patient and wait on God. All will be revealed in due time. God bless, and I'll be praying for you.
God bless you, my heart goes out to you so much! Please don't hesitate to tell your wife how much you will be lost and lonely if she leaves you. I know that you will, even if you don't know it, and I know that God has a way for you. God does not have "somebody better" for either of you. God's providence never leads where his expressed will in his law has stated otherwise. It's a law of love. You two can learn what love is, and after you do, as the rich feelings come and go you won't be disturbed when they the ebb tide is down, but will praise God in all conditions! Having broken vows by violating the marriage bed would free one of you to remarry, but it would not necessarily be the thing you have to do even then. Love starts and ends with commitment in God. He will help you through the rest. Sometimes God uses your differences to pare rough places from each of you. Paring is part of pairing!

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