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Why should children obey their parents?

How should parents bring up their children?

Why should father not provoke their children to anger?

What is the great secret of a happy home?

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The secret of a Happy Home is for children to obey their parents as scripture tells them to.



You have asked some good questions.  I'll attempt to at least point in the direction of an answer. 


You asked:

"Why should children obey their parents?

How should parents bring up their children?

Why should father not provoke their children to anger?

What is the great secret of a happy home?"

1.  "Why should children obey their parents?"  The main reason is that it helps them prepare to obey God.  Children are not born all wise, as some parents foolishly believe.  It is the responsibility of parents to teach their children the right way to live.  When parents fail to do this, their child has a much harder time in life.  Submission is the heart of being a Christian.  Unless we come to the point where we will do what God asks us to do, even when it makes no sense to us at all, only then we will be safe to save.  This is the parents responsibiilty to help a child learn that submission here on earth, so they can enjoy heaven.  Anyone who is so independent that they will not follow God's instructions here would be miserable up there, just as Satan was. 


Many parents lament: "What went wrong with my children?  I raised them up better than that."  Then they claim the promise that if children are raised right, that they will come back.  However, far too often their child raising techniques are quite a bit shy of being what God told us to do. 


It is true that even with the very best training, e.g. Adam and Eve, that they can go astray.  However, if they do not have the best training, the odds of their going astray is very high.  I have seen pastor after pastor whose children have left the church.  They come up with some most inventative excuses for their lack of proper discipline and training.  However, excuses never produce good results.  Which is why the term "PK" has so many examples to support that idea.  (PK=Preachers Kid)


Notice what the Bible says about our example.

     "And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart." Luke 2:51 (ESV) 

Then some 18 years later we find this picture.

      "And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come."  John 2:4 (ESV)

Jesus is addressing two different situations here.

  1. He had reached the age of 30, which at that time He was considered to be an adult.  In dismissing His mother's authority over Him, He was showing that He now was a child of God, not of Mary and Joseph.
  2. The time had not yet come to reveal Himself as the Messiah.  This would be done when His Father told Him to do so, not when Mary told Him to reveal Himself.

So, we are given the example of being submissive to our parents (in the Lord) until we become mature.  Then our submission is given to God and not our parents.  How many homes have been wrecked when a child failed to cut the umbilical cord and cleave unto their mate.

2.  "How should parents bring up their children?"

    "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephes. 6:4 (ESV) 

This is the biblical pattern we are to follow. 


It is said that the best way a father can rightly train his children is to: "love their mother."  When either parent fails to show the right kind of love for the other, they are giving children a wrong message. 


3.  "Why should father not provoke their children to anger?"

Obedience from anger is not real obedience.  Nor is submission becasue we are angry.  Submission to God must be a willing choice to submit to a higher power, which cannot be produced from anger.  Anger is produced when unreasonable or irrational demands are made.  It is the parents responsibility to teach children to obey from love, not just obey.  Obedience from love does not generate anger.  While it is true that following the biblical instruction may make the children angry for a time.  As they mature, they will see the reason and their anger will turn to love.  Just like God sometimes makes us angry, until we come to our senses and realize that God's way was the best way and then we love Him for it.  The same must happen in the home too.


4.  What is the great secret of a happy home?"

In order to have a happy home, there must be at a minimum a triangle.  God is to be at the apex, with the father and mother at the other two angles, with the children in between.  Any home that does not have God as a major player in the home cannot ever find the happiness that a home with God in it can experience.  This is not just talking about God.  This is a home where genuine submission to God is practiced.  There is a big difference between the two.


Hopefully this has been helpful.


Maranatha :)


Thanks a lot ........I try to do everything to make my home a happy one but look it is in vine,not that i don't believe in god.I do believe in him all the way.I have two and three of us are child of the king......Try to teach them the right thing and the right way but it very hard at times,but my faith is still in our lord and i know he will give me the strength to keep on the right path....



Yes obey your parents in the lord for this is the right thing to do 


Eph 6:1-3
6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother"-which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."NIV


Col 3:20-21 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 
21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. NIV


Order Necessary for a Happy Home—God is displeased with disorder, slackness, and a lack of thoroughness in anyone. These deficiencies are serious evils, and tend to wean the affections of the husband from the wife when the husband loves order, well-disciplined children, and a well-regulated house. A wife and mother cannot make home agreeable and happy unless she possesses a love for order, preserves her dignity, and has good government; therefore all who fail on these points should begin at once to educate themselves in this direction, and cultivate the very things wherein is their greatest lack.6 {AH 22.3}


Too many cares and burdens are brought into our families, and too little of natural simplicity and peace and happiness is cherished. There should be less care for what the outside world will say and more thoughtful attention to the members of the family circle. There should be less display and affectation of worldly politeness, and much more tenderness and love, cheerfulness and Christian courtesy, among the members of the household. Many need to learn how to make home attractive, a place of enjoyment. Thankful hearts and kind looks are more valuable than wealth and luxury, and contentment with simple things will make home happy if love be there.11 {AH 108.1


The father should do his part toward making home happy. Whatever his cares and business perplexities, they should not be permitted to overshadow his family; he should enter his home with smiles and pleasant words.4 {AH 211.5}


The More Indulgence, the Harder the Management—Parents, make home happy for your children. By this I do not mean that you are to indulge them. The more they are indulged, the harder they will be to manage, and the more difficult it will be for them to live true, noble lives when they go out into the world. If you allow them to do as they please, their purity and loveliness of character will quickly fade. Teach them to obey. Let them see that your authority must be respected. This may seem to bring them a little unhappiness now, but it will save them from much unhappiness in the future.3 {CG 271.3}


At no time in life is the right kind of counsel so important as when two young people are contemplating marriage. Since the Lord loves you and wants you to have eternal life and a happy home, perhaps the reading of just one of these letters will help you to have both. {LYL 6.4}
We invite you to “open the envelope” and read what the Lord has said to others like yourself. {LYL 6.5}
Ellen G. White Estate
Washington, DC 2001
I Love You
“I Love You!” How special are those words between two young people! But even more wonderful they become when spoken to us by our Saviour who wants us to be happy and find joy in our relationship with each other. Christ has compared his love for the church to the love of husband and wife. The scriptures contain tender love stories such as that of Jacob and Rachel, and the moving story of Ruth, the moabite, who through her marriage to Boaz became a link in the genealogy of the Messiah. Our heavenly Father is concerned over our love-life. Through the inspired writings of scripture and of Ellen G. White, God has given counsels to young people in their quest for happiness. {LYL 7.1}
Things That Make a Happy Home—Pleasant voices, gentle manners, and sincere affection that finds expression in all the actions, together with industry, neatness, and economy, make even a hovel the happiest of homes. The Creator regards such a home with approbation.—The Signs of the Times, October 2, 1884. (The Adventist Home, 422.) {1MCP 180.1}

And it begins with the parent/caregiver.


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