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This is on a personal note and I need some help in this matter I am still single because I am secretly afraid that my child would think like her dad I abandoned her or put her on the back burner.

How can I get over this. I don't want her to ever think that and when I talk to her abou it she tells me that she does not think that way..but yet when I bring up getting married or the going out with a guy she gets all quiet and clingy like.

Can anyone help me and other single parents out there who are having to deal with these types of situations?

How do we help our children to make the transition from just the one parent to an 'uncle or auntie'?

I hope that we can get some responses here as I'm sure that a few of us in this group would love to read the answers.

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Fear not!:)
I was told by no less then 4 people recently that I should think of waiting till my children are out of high school to start dating and then when I start I should do more waiting on the Lord then any thing. It's hard because I am lonely but at the same time I keep thinking of all the stress both my children and I would go through and it just isn't worth it. I will manage till the time the Lord makes it the right time and right person for me. I am sure this is a learning to lean on Him time. I use this time to strengthen my relationship with God so I will show my children what a relationship looks like and also so I am ready and healed when the right man does show up, no luggage in toe. Any way not sure there is any graceful way to help your child feel your not abandoning her but maybe if you did a date night once a week just you and her...and then when you start dating you create a date night once a week also with this person and your child... it's just a thought..
I am so late on posting this; however, I hope it can help someone else if not you. I will deviate a bit from the question about the child and deal with how prepared you are to get married or remarried.

Often we think that falling in love is enough for a lasting relationship but when we are coming from a previous relationship, married or not, we have allot of baggage that we do not realize we are carrying and we may need professional help to release them.

I hope we are willing to face some facts. After we have been with the opposite sex enough to parent his or her child, a part of him or her remains with us. Not only in the form of the child but in our mind /subconscious and that determines certain behaviors we demonstrate toward the new person in our lives (spouse, sweetheart, lover, whatever you are comfortable with).

We need to honestly analyze our attitude, language, outlook, expectation (get help if you need to, most people do) and for God's sake PRAY for your restoration and redemption more than anything else or you will end up more broken hearted and lonely than you were before you started.

The Child:
When you are ready, and the man who has been preparing as well as you, is also ready to get together with you and love that child as if she belongs to both of you, and you are prepared to share in the total development of the child, then you would not be worried. You would be confident when you know that God is leading what you do.
Words for my life as well.


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