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As a single mother/father, how should you handle the child's emotional feelings towards you getting married for first time or again?

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I would like to hear view on this topic. I rarely date because my daughter used to throw tantrums whenever I went out so I just eased the stress but now I am still single and she is a teenager who seems even more possesive...Of course she is no longer throwing tantrums but she is almost cold to guys who show an interest...mind you she is very respectful and all that but I think that she resents guys getting some form of attention from me. HELP...LOL
I am trying to wait till my two are out of high school for that problem right there. I was counciled by many that it would be best if I waited so then I would be less stressed and so would everyone involved. At that point I know this who ever comes into my life will love teens and children and will want to meld well with my children because some day I will want to attend weddings, birthdays, and all the holidays that go with having children and grandchildren and I will want my other half to be there for all of it. I hate drama and I am certain God does too.. I do believe he will bring the right one that will cause as little drama as possible and I will be waiting while he creates that relationship for me .. I will not create that relationship for me.... is this making scene? My best wishes and prayers go out to all of us who have to even think about melding new families.
Thank you and boy am I loneliness seem to be my best friend....specially when I am overwhelmed
I hear you there... Loneliness is the reason I am here on this site... and glad to find others :) needing a bit of encouragement too, :) it's gonna be alright some day.. I believe that! God bless,
Yes Carla better days are coming, but I love my singleness. Don't know why others are not the same.
lOL that one is funny...Tanks Lysa. as for Rochelle nothing is wrong is loving being single nor is it wrong with wanting to be with someone. We were created to desire companionship. I enjoyed my singleness for a while but to be honest now I don't. I am comfortable with it but that does not mean I have to like it. The time I really enjoyed my singleness was when I was getting acquainted with the new me (after becoming a parent you whole attitude and way of thinking changes) as I had made some huge changes and was quite unaware of it.

I'm sure that they are days when you actually desire male companionship. Someone to call you and tell you they love you or were thinking about you or just knowing that they were there to call on when you need someone. God is always there but he created us with the need for companionship. anyone agree with me?
I understand those feelings completely and I agree with you but since we now have children who are innocent bystanders, it becomes a matter of SACRIFICE until they become adults.... Ooops that may be a long time for some and unacceptable to others but what would GOD want us to do with his lambs.
This is certainly a matter for prayer.

Step parenting is never going to be an easy step.

Handling a child's emotions when taking that step depends on the child, their age , maturity and their character.

As some have noted- some children actually are happy for their single mother/father to be with someone who makes them happy . The older the child and maturer they are- they will realise that you are NOT going to be shutting them out of your life but that you are taking a step that is going to make you happy and it will roll over into their lives - as happiness breeds contentment.

However you will get the child , who regardless of their age ,is not accepting the fact that mum or Dad has found someone new and they will make it as difficult as possible.

For the younger child- they basically need reassurance that they will be a PART of this new family set up- as many times they may have fantasized also about their parent getting back together with their other biological parent. When this hasn't happened they may get very difficult.

LOVE is key and you will need a lot of PATIENCE to tackle this IF you are going to get married. As it wont happen overnight but if you continue to treat them with love they will eventually in time see that they are a part of the new family set up and  that the step parent isn't the 'wicked witch of the west' who is there to usurp them out of the family

So its important to make them feel INCLUDED especially if the person you intend to marry has kids also...

There are also many helpful christian books online that can help anyone who are preparing to be a step parent .... I would read up on some of them and get spiritual counselling where necessary in some cases with step parenting comes a lot of issues that needs to be addressed and which the child may need to express in an environment where it is encouraged to do so...

That way a lot of potentially damaging issues can be sorted out BEFORE you walk down the aisle as your child will feel they have been listened to- been heard and their worries and fears acknowledged and addressed. It will help to allay their worries and sometimes calm their fears that they are NOT going to be on the sidelines of this new marriage.

For some children though, they may never be able to accept the fact that you are marrying someone else- even after doing all these you have to decide whether you wish to take that chance that they will come around some day when the step parent continues to show them love and acceptance and NEVER say that I'm your new mom or Dad- kids hate that as they already have a biological mom or dad they love 

Or you give up the idea of marriage all together or put it on hold until they are older .... I have known some people to do this sadly and who lost out on love because their child manipulated them into giving up someone they loved... depends what you wish to do in these cases as a child will eventually grow up and get married some day themselves and you will still be on your own.... so PRAY first and foremost about these issues and ask God to let you choose wisely on this matter.


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