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What does the church do for Widowed, Divorced, Separated Single Parents (WDSSP)

I have observed in the SDA body that there are two or three groups that are given attention but there is a forth group that is growing rapidly that gets no attention or support from an organizational or even congregational level. There are ministries for those who are married, singles/youth and children. However, a fourth group that comprises of those who, at some point, started a family and are now widowed, divorced, separated or just single parents, get no support or special ministry in the church. If one were to examine the official component of the church, one would find, however, that many members of this fourth group are serving the church on a weekly basis as ushers, deaconesses, Sabbath school teachers, superintendants and in other areas. Without a doubt, many of these members struggle with financial insufficiency, frustration of having to raise the children alone, loneliness and feeling of being unloved and sexual desires that some struggle to suppress, while others do not. After smiling with the brothers and sisters on Sabbath and claiming to be blessed, many return home Saturday night to begin a new week much like the one that just ended, especially in this recession; full of struggle and hurt.   

  1. Should the church do anything to help this group?
  2. What can anyone do to ease the struggle these CHRISTIANS experience?
  3. Would you dare to talk to your leaders about this or even start a support group on your own?
  4. Why do we go out to evangelize when we must first minister to this fourth group that is sinking fast right within the church?

I can say much more but who is listening/watching, will it make a difference?

Please respond.


Views: 174

Replies to This Discussion

I pray that a group like that is formed in my local church because I am one of the people you just described. (single parent). I am going to talk to the pastor about starting a group to help others like me. We are overlooked in the churches and I can speak for myself when I say sometimes it hurts.
Hi Maria,
I am just trying to get things started in my church and I wish/hope all over the world but I don't have it all together yet. I am very glad for the support offered by all.
You can sent me mails at I will be willing to share when I have
I am not suggesting in any way that we don't evangelize, I am simply saying that we need to have the right atitude of caring for those we already have before bringing new members in to demonstrate the same unchristlike attitude toward them which may cause them to leave, making our initial effort useless and to possibility of that person being pushed away totaly.
--- if one is turned off the first time, one will most likely shun the situation/place in the future.

1. Yes, the church should do more to help this group ,as even now sometimes many single parents stop attending church as they feel rejected , unwanted and gossiped about by some of the congregation who have nothing better to do with their time.

2. To help ease the struggle they experience- 

a- stop gossiping about them and pray for them instead

b- encourage them rather than condemn them as what happened is  between them and God and is none of our buisness- he never put some folks to be JUDGE and jury on this earth ,even thou some think its their duty to do just that. ...only God is Judge- not us.

c-financially- where possible- maybe an emergency funding could be set up so that those who do go through dire straights have somewhere they can borrow from with a minimal or 0% interest rate rather than feeling they have to turn to unscrupulous loan sharks or banks who have a lot higher interest rates

. Sometimes just slipping someone a bag of food quietly can help out who may be struggling to even buy bread that week.or food for their baby/child

3. A support group is good but will vary from church to church and the ratio of single /divorced/seperated individuals who are in the church and IF they wish to set up such a group..

4. We go out to evangelize and sometimes neglect and oversee this 4th group as some still regard single parents as 'untouchables' and to be looked down upon because they have 'fallen.' Single parents have spiritual needs too - especially the ones who feel rejected and unloved already if the baby father or mother is no where on the scene and have left them all alone to raise the child on their own.. They don't need more rejection from some church people to make them feel even worse than they already do.


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