Sorry I did not respond before - I just saw your comment. I really do not want to sound or seem like a Pharisee but I have been convicted by the Holy Spirit that it is wrong for me to kiss if I am not married.
If you honestly and sincerely believe you can kiss to give glory to God while not married then let your conscience be your guide. I will not judge or condemn you or anyone for this practice. I also know the challenge it takes to abstain from kissing when you are in love with someone. However, I am encouraged by the example of Joseph who waited months to have sex with Mary after he was married to her. If this man could have displayed such self-control towards his wife - then why can't I abstain from kissing until I am married?
To be honest with you the Holy Spirit has shown me the difference between a relationship that has a strong physical focus (kissing, petting) and one in which two persons seek to grow together spiritually (together reaching out to the less fortunate, together praying and fasting and seeking a deeper relationship with God). The difference is that the relationship with the stronger spiritual focus is far more rewarding, also this spiritual focus gives tremendous strength to overcome the passion of the flesh.
Cherylann said: can u please cpme with more biblical proof...cause I can tell u that I don't belive if I kiss my fiance that I am not glorifying God....I have not had sex....its just my way of expressin my feelings of love to him.
We have not sinned as far as I'm concerned....As two mature adults we know that all we want to do is kiss.....we decide how far to go.
Well said Cherylann. That is exactly how I see it too.
If you read 1 Kings 13, there is a story there about a prophet who was told to do one thing for the Lord and while on his way, he ran into another prophet who was convincing him to do otherwise. Both were servants of God. The second prophet reasoned that it would be ok for Prophet 1 to acquiesce to Prophet 2 since God had not revealed the same message to Prophet 2. Prophet 1 decided to delay his mission and hang with Prophet 2. Long story short, this resulted in Prophet 1's death - a death that could have been avoided if He had simply followed what the Lord commanded him to do.
Why, oh Why do I bring this up? If the Lord has told you not to kiss, then don't kiss. It may not make sense, your friend's may not understand, but perhaps God knows your heart and is trying to keep you from leading yourself into temptation. Sometimes the Holy Spirit keeps us from things that can harm us, but it is not meant to be a doctrine for all of His people. So, the key thing is to be attuned to the leadings of the Holy Spirit.
Hey Ricardo - All I can say is that both my responses have been based on experience. While I would not make a kissing statement for all Christians to follow, I encourage people to really be honest with themselves when the Holy Spirit is leading. It is easy to second guess the voice of God when we want to do out own thing. God has let me know in one too many instances that kissing for me is the doorway to way more stuff that I don't want to get into - it is the doorway to much regret. For me it simply leads to increased and more difficult temptations.
So to answer your question - if two people are dating en route to marriage kissing is probably an expression of the Love that God has placed between them. I have no idea, but if it is not glorifying God, the Holy Spirit will let the parties know and they must act accordingly.
If you are dating someone and you know that God has told you, Ricardo, "no kissing until marriage", then it is no kissing. Your partner, if she is God sent to you, will understand and support you even if God has not told her not to kiss. She will not want to lead you into temptation or push you to do something that God has told you not to do. This is why I brought up 1 Kings 13...
Sheba, So the Holy Spirit picks and chooses whose couples before marriage can kiss and those who cannot? hmmmmm Im not so sure about that. In fact, I dont believe that. :) The Holy Spirit is no respector of persons.There is nothing wrong with kissing someone you love unless you don't have enough of the grace of God to control your passions. A french kiss can be very intimate but for me there is no way it could lead to intercourse before marriage.
Alright folks, I came across this important piece of advice and I'm gonna just paste it here, such that you come to your own conclusions although I'll defend it at all costs, because i posted it. Choose to not kiss – At least until you are engaged to be married. Okay, this can be extremely difficult, but if you can follow this one dating tip then most of the others will happen naturally. Even kissing once you are engaged can be very dangerous. It’s better to not kiss at all until your wedding day! Before you laugh and click to another page with thoughts that we must be insane, consider these points on kissing.
A kiss begins to sexually stimulate a man instantly.
If you aren’t kissing then you won’t become tempted to take things to a more intimate level. You’ll be protecting yourself and the purity of your date.
If a Christian man is kissing his date and it gives him an erection (often just the possibility of a kiss can do this), is God or his date being honored?
Is this healthy for the man to get sexually aroused time after time without sexual release? When men become sexually aroused a large amount of blood flows to the genitals. If #### does not occur; the build up of blood can become painful. That just can't be a good thing for anyone! Ouch! :O)
A kiss will surely break down your barriers and leave you in a position that could ultimately devastate your relationship with your date and separate you from a close walk with God. Self-control seems to be the better option.
Just think how magical that first kiss will be if it is saved for your wedding day!
Just think how magical that first conversation will be if it is saved for your wedding day!
OK... I joke. But still nobody has brought forth their scriptural/SOP/cultural/etc basis for their opinions. They just keep stating their opinion again and again. :-) Unfortunately this doesn't give me any reason to change my beliefs. We can't even study it.... because I have an opinion too... but simply repeating it won't change your opinion. Why should these people repeating their opinion make me think differently?
Bring your basis for your beliefs! (And I'll glad accept "My culture is this way". I think this is what most of this actually is based on although no one seems to want to admit it. But I won't accept "My culture is this way and yours should be too.")
If brethren can give each other a "holy" kiss :) then I think two people who love each other will naturally give affection to each other and kissing is the most natural thing to do. It does not have to lead to anything else and in fact it won't if both are kept by the power of God.