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I'm divorced and I have to tell you my marriage was not based the Bible Or SOP.  I've been reading what the bible and SOP have to say about marriage. 

My husband, in our marriage, demanded respect. Now, Im trying to understand this aspect , Respect.  Husband here, what doe's respect mean to you. Wifes what ways do show respect to your husband?u

Do you think a person has earn respect?

Thank you all for your help!


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A very good question, and a very appropriate request. Respect, and a particular kind of submission (or deference) are the things sought for most by a godly husband. It is the Bible way, and it is the right way. (Unfortunately though, this has often been misunderstood and abused.)


Yes, the husband is to to "rule his own house", but he is "to learn how to rule by love and kindness, rather than by severity and censure." (1Tim 3:4,12, R&H Nov 1899). The Christian husband will not control everything; he will not always over-rule, even when he would do things differently (and possibly even better) than his wife. He would have the house orderly and clean (for example), but the arrangement of the house will be her domain and her responsibility.


In my view, the marks of a Christian marriage are grouped into two basic areas.

1. The husband will love his wife, and give "honor unto the wife as the weaker vessel" (Eph 5:25, 1Pet 3:7).


2. The wife will see that "she reverences her husband", and submits to his will, insofar as she is free to do so. (Eph 5:33,22) Of course her conscience is not subject to the husband. In matters of conscience and morality, she is equal to the husband.



Daughter of the King, in response to your question, Does a person [a husband] have to earn respect [from the wife]?, I would say, No. In the family, this respect is not earned, it is effectively commanded by God. Originally though, this arrangement did not exist, but after the fall, the wife "was to be in subjection to her husband, and this was a part of the curse." (Gen 3:16; 3Testimonies p.484). The husband should, I believe, understand this fact clearly.


Husband and wife (if both are Christians) will show respect, in tone and in manner, but in a sense the husband looks for "respect", the wife looks for "love".

Well first of all you would start off by the wuestion of why did I get married? What exactly attracted you to the person? Did you respect him to begin with or was the marriage out of convenience? these are some of the questions that you first ask yourself? Now that you are married you have to be there and understand what it is both of you are trying to achieve.

Now the best person to ask about how to show respect to your husband would be your husband? Do you try to raise your voice above him when he speaks? Do you display attitude towards him in public when he is talking to you especially about something that you wish not to talk about? Are you seeing eye to eye in the direction that he wants to go?

As women and wives we are in their lives to bring happiness to be there to relieve burdens and stress. We are there to ensure that any direction that they talk is in accordance with the Bible and strengthen their relationship with God.

Even thou you are there to be is help mate you both should not loose your individuality into each other the SOP warns about that. So talk to your husband and examine the Bible especially Proverbs 31 about the virtuous woman and the SOP for more information.


I do nt know if you will find this post helpful.

It would seem, simply put, that loving others as you would love yourself is how one can cherish,  and show respect & honor.  I don't know.  Living a life of service, living to share the love God has brought to us.  When we are open to our Creator and His love we let it flow through to others.  


What makes him or her feel appreciated and special?  As far as possible, do that for them.  


For me, as long as a person has the breath of life within them they are God's people, He is not done with them yet, and as long as they are alive they have a chance to turn toward Him, to change the way they think and act and become Godly.  In this way I respect them [as God's].  


I tend to give or grant a measure of trust and respect unless proven guilty.  As the two get to know one another, their faith in each other grows.  Trust grows.  Respect grows.  But if they have proven hurtful, trust in them becomes more defined and seems to be a need to be earned.  Same with respect.  If they have failed they can still gain respect and honor in time.  



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