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Women, Stop Submitting to Men

Those of us who hold to so-called “traditional gender roles” are often assumed to believe that women should submit to men. This isn’t true.

  • russell d. moore
Indeed, a primary problem in our culture and in our churches isn’t that women aren’t submissive enough to men, but instead that they are far too submissive.

First of all, it just isn’t so that women are called to submit while men are not. In Scripture, every creature is called to submit, often in different ways and at different times. Children are to submit to their parents, although this is certainly a different sort of submission than that envisioned for marriage. Church members are to submit to faithful pastors (Heb. 13:17). All of us are to submit to the governing authorities (Rom. 13:1-7; 1 Pet. 2:13-17). Of course, we are all to submit, as creatures, to our God (Jas. 4:7).

And, yes, wives are called to submit to their husbands (Eph. 5:22; 1 Pet. 3:1-6). But that’s just the point. In the Bible, it is not that women, generally, are to submit to men, generally. Instead, “wives” are to submit “to your own husbands” (1 Pet. 3:1).

Too often in our culture, women and girls are pressured to submit to men, as a category. This is the reason so many women, even feminist women, are consumed with what men, in general, think of them. This is the reason a woman’s value in our society, too often, is defined in terms of sexual attractiveness and availability. Is it any wonder that so many of our girls and women are destroyed by a predatory patriarchy that demeans the dignity and glory of what it means to be a woman?

Submitting to men in general renders it impossible to submit to one’s “own husband.” Submission to one’s husband means faithfulness to him, and to him alone, which means saying “no” to other suitors.

Submission to a right authority always means a corresponding refusal to submit to a false authority. Eve’s submission to the Serpent’s word meant she refused to submit to God’s. On the other hand, Mary’s submission to God’s word about the child within her meant she refused to submit to Herod’s. God repeatedly charges his Bride, the people of Israel, with a refusal to submit to him because they have submitted to the advances of other lovers. The freedom of the gospel means, the apostle tells us, that we “do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Gal. 5:1).

Despite the promise of female empowerment in the present age, the sexual revolution has given us the reverse. Is it really an advance for women that the average high-school male has seen images of women sexually exploited and humiliated on the Internet? Is it really empowerment to have more and more women economically at the mercy of men who freely abandon them and their children, often with little legal recourse?

Is this really a “pro-woman” culture when restaurant chains enable men to pay to ogle women in tight T-shirts while they gobble down chicken wings? How likely is it that a woman with the attractiveness of Henry Kissinger will obtain power or celebrity status in American culture? What about the girl in your community pressured to perform oral sex on a boyfriend, what is this but a patriarchy brutal enough for a Bronze Age warlord?

In the church it is little better. Too many of our girls and young women are tyrannized by the expectation to look a certain way, to weigh a certain amount, in order to gain the attention of “guys.”

Additionally, too many predatory men have crept in among us, all too willing to exploit young women by pretending to be “spiritual leaders” (2 Tim. 3:1-9; 2 Pet. 2). Do not be deceived: a man who will use spiritual categories for carnal purposes is a man who cannot be trusted with fidelity, with provision, with protection, with the fatherhood of children. The same is true for a man who will not guard the moral sanctity of a woman not, or not yet, his wife.

We have empowered this pagan patriarchy. Fathers assume their responsibility to daughters in this regard starts and stops in walking a bride down an aisle at the end of the process. Pastors refuse to identify and call out spiritually impostors before it’s too late. And through it all we expect our girls and women to be submissive to men in general, rather than to one man in particular.

Women, sexual and emotional purity means a refusal to submit to “men,” in order to submit to your own husband, even one whose name and face you do not yet know. Your closeness with your husband, present or future, means a distance from every man who isn’t, or who possibly might not be, him.

Your beauty is found not in external (and fleeting) youth and “attractiveness” but in the “hidden person of the heart” which “in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Pet. 3:3-4). And it will be beautiful in the sight of a man who is propelled by the Spirit of this God.

Sisters, you owe no submission to Hollywood or to Madison Avenue, or to those who listen to them. Your worth and dignity cannot be defined by them. Stop comparing yourselves to supermodels and porn stars. Stop loathing your body, or your age. Stop feeling inferior to vaporous glamor. You are beautiful.

Sisters, there is no biblical category for “boyfriend” or “lover,” and you owe such designation no submission. In fact, to be submissive to your future husband you must stand back and evaluate, with rigid scrutiny, “Is this the one who is to come, or is there another?” That requires an emotional and physical distance until there is a lifelong covenant made, until you stand before one who is your “own husband.”

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as unto the Lord. Yes and Amen. But, women, stop submitting to men.

Adapted from Russell D. Moore's weblog at russellmoore.com.

Dr. Russell D. Moore is the Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice-President for Academic Administration at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. He also serves as a preaching pastor at Highview Baptist Church, where he ministers weekly at the congregation’s Fegenbush location. Dr. Moore is the author of The Kingdom of Christ and Adopted for Life.

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Replies to This Discussion

Sarah

 

What Russell left out is that when women stop submitting to men, in the proper way of course, they are also ceasing to submit to God.  What he is saying is not unlike telling teenagers to not submit to their parents.

 

Also, God is always portrayed as a male, never a female.  However, heathen gods were of both genders.

 

Jesus said:

    "Jesus said to him, "Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'?"   John 14:9 (ESV) 

Jesus portrayed the Father as a male, just as Jesus came as a male. 

 

Submission is something that we all must learn, male or female.  Unless we learn submission in the proper way here on earth, we will never see heaven, no matter what our gender might be. 

 

So, I don't care what level of Education Russel Moore has or what his position is, what he is presenting is not biblical.

 

Maranatha :)
Ray
 

Mark

 

We agree, except for the last sentence.  When God's will is as plain as it is in the Bible, we should not pray about it, but pray for the Holy Spirit to change us so we can conform to it.  The first channel of answers to prayer is through the Bible.  If we reject the information that comes through that channel, then God will not use any of the other channels.  Those are only used when there is no biblical answer, then God will use every means possible to guide those who are willing to be guided.

 

Maranatha :)
Ray

I think the part about .. Well, this here..

 

 In fact, to be submissive to your future husband you must stand back and evaluate, with rigid scrutiny, “Is this the one who is to come, or is there another?” That requires an emotional and physical distance until there is a lifelong covenant made, until you stand before one who is your “own husband.”

 

I really like this..

 

But the rest of this article is almost telling the feminists THEY are NOT doing ENOUGH! :) Like this bit here..

 

Too often in our culture, women and girls are pressured to submit to men, as a category. This is the reason so many women, even feminist women, are consumed with what men, in general, think of them.

He is saying that sexual perversity is the reason that women have not gone FURTHER away from the Biblical stance OF submission .. Thats all he is saying.. And while I REALLY appreciate that first part I re-posted, this other part is using what a lot of young girls HAVE gone through, in the way of sexual perversity's results being perpetrated on them, and telling them to give it ALL up and withhold sex.. Basically..

 

I had to reword the part about things perpetrated on young girls, because I began writing thinking about actual sexual things done as the problem.. But thier IS also the results of men being in control, is what this guys saying, is that fathers take NO thought for thier childrens welfare, basically.. THAT would be a result.. But, its patently NOT true in the SDA homes I have seen.. I have seen good and bad..

 

And the good?  Well, the father of the family is VERY soliciotus of his family's welfare.. ALL of them.. And especially collectively.. He has to do his utmost to ensure however many members of the family there are, that they find thier own salvation.. Its on his shoulders in the eyes of the Lord.. And makes THIS statement even MORE distasteful, as God BEGAN this 'pagan patriarchy', was that the wording? Lets see..

 

We have empowered this pagan patriarchy

Yep.. That was the wording..

 

This is all, apparently based on a flawed angry vision of a mean God, I think was this guys problem.. And also just what is pagan and what is Holy.. There are people who actually fooled into thinking that satan is the chosen and that he was wrongly usurped and kicked out of heaven.. So to THSOE people, God's HOLY appointed things would all BE pagan.. Something to consider..

It appears as if you and others have not read the article at all!  LOLOL!

 

"And, yes, wives are called to submit to their husbands (Eph. 5:22; 1 Pet. 3:1-6). But that’s just the point. In the Bible, it is not that women, generally, are to submit to men, generally. Instead, “wives” are to submit “to your own husbands” (1 Pet. 3:1)".

 

Too often in our culture, women and girls are pressured to submit to men, as a category.This is the reason so many women, even feminist women, are consumed with what men, in general, think of them. This is the reason a woman’s value in our society, too often, is defined in terms of sexual attractiveness and availability. Is it any wonder that so many of our girls and women are destroyed by a predatory patriarchy that demeans the dignity and glory of what it means to be a woman?

 

"Submitting to men in general renders it impossible to submit to one’s “own husband.” Submission to one’s husband means faithfulness to him, and to him alone, which means saying “no” to other suitors."

 

"Additionally, too many predatory men have crept in among us, all too willing to exploit young women by pretending to be “spiritual leaders” (2 Tim. 3:1-9; 2 Pet. 2). Do not be deceived: a man who will use spiritual categories for carnal purposes is a man who cannot be trusted with fidelity, with provision, with protection, with the fatherhood of children. The same is true for a man who will not guard the moral sanctity of a woman not, or not yet, his wife."

 

The author CLEARLY states that a Wife is to submit to her husband in the Lord (citing the scripture)--more than once, but distinguishes a clear difference between that submission and submitted to any and every man, as a wife is to submit to her husband.   In other words, you do not "simply do what a man "tells you to do or says" just because he is a man".

Apology accepted! =)

This article is most definitely for Christians (the Church)....and yes Mark, these things take place.  they even take place on a Christian discussion board. =)

@Sarah

"Apology accepted! =)"

I haven't seen anyone apologizing.. lol A bit presumptive on your part I think..lol

Not at all....thanks!

@Sarah

What exactly are you thanking me for.. the fact that I pointed out that you were accepting apologies that haven't even been implied?

Thanks for your feedback....

Yes.

@Sarah

Are your saying yes and cheer leading your own post?? lol

No, please read all of the posts and links prior.  Thanks!

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